I’ve Lost Christmas!
Ya know how sometimes it’s too warm when you should be Christmas shopping, and it’s just hard to get in the mood? Well, something like that has happened to me this year. First, we have had shirt sleeve weather, which doesn’t help the situation any, but that’s not really the problem. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me this year.
We’re not going to see either of our daughters or their families this weekend. We didn’t decorate our house, because we haven’t been there enough to do it, nor to see it if we had. We put a tiny tree up in Daddy’s living room, but that’s it. Our only Christmas shopping was over the internet, so we haven’t been in any of the crowds, nor had the fun of looking for all the little stocking stuffer unique oddities that our grown kids and grandkids look forward to. I’ve even missed all the Christmas programs at church.
Oh, we’ve had the songs on the radio, but they start that way too early, so it loses its effect. My Sunday School Class did come by here on the way to their Christmas party and sing Christmas carols to Daddy. That was about as close to feeling like it really was Christmas as I have felt. In the vacuum of taking care of Daddy and trying to take care of myself, it just doesn’t feel magical this year. And that’s very depressing. There, I’ve said it out loud. Yes, I am depressed this Christmas, a feeling I have never experienced before on such a joyous holiday.
I never meant, when I started this blog, for it to turn into a place to wallow in self pity, but it sure seems more and more that’s all I’m doing. I guess I could make excuses and call it therapeutic LOL. All I wanted to do was keep a running record of what it was like from day to day, for my own sake, and possibly to benefit someone else going through similar experiences with Parkinson’s.
I was also hoping that by posting regularly, my keywords would attract other PWP through the Search Engines, and I could enjoy some conversations with other people going through the same things I am. That hasn’t happened, either. Maybe it will in time, but right now the Page Rank of this blog is still zero. It’s hard to move up through the Google ranks, and it takes time and patience.
So we take one day at a time, each one feeling pretty much like the day before, expecting the next to feel pretty much like today. It’s a care giving rut that leaves no end in sight, because only God knows the outcome of all this. All we can do is our best from moment to moment.
Normally I would delete spam like this comment, but this one made me laugh, so I decided to leave it. Thank you Mr. Mybadcredit, for posting about as far off topic as a person could possibly get!!!! LOL
I’ve seen those puppies on your blog, Janey Loree, and they are adorable! Just thinking about them crawling all over me and licking my face makes me smile. Thank you.
Thanks for the info, good blog!
Managing your money during the holidays is simple once you know the pro’s and con’s involved. Reevaluating how you shop during the holiday seasons is also a part of sensible money management. Setting spending limits where your credit is concerned is always the best bet. Hope you will find those resources useful for your blog and to your many readers. Have a super day!
Hi Rosemary, I wish that I lived closer so that I could bring five bouncing puppies over to give you a Christmas hug!
Hmmm, I know exactly how you feel. We have no Christmas tree or decorations up either. Gray’s son commented he was going to buy us a fold out Christmas Tree, just so we would put it up, without fuss.Lol
This year, there are days when Christmas seems to be too much; when the preparations for it go on and on. And then, there are the days when an old Christmas song plays on the radio, or the Town Hall sends forth Christmas carols that touch a part of me and my past, and my mood changes.
Christmas is still a beautiful time,even with the load we sometimes carry at this time of year. And you have a load, for sure.
Be kind to yourself, DB, hopefully next year much of your load will have changed, and will have become more manageable.
Many Reiki blessings are sent to you!
We’re in somewhat similar circumstances this Christmas, Marion, so it doesn’t surprise me that you would understand what I mean. And I’m not surprised you don’t have any decorations up, either. We just haven’t had time, or the emotional energy, have we!
I’m glad you’ve been able to enjoy your granddaughter’s birthday.
A few years back my family-related burdens were such that I recall actually being surprised that a coworker dared ask how _anyone’s_ Christmas was. Fortunately, the reality of God’s gift doesn’t depend on our “being in the mood.” Wishing you the joy of Christ, in season and out–especially when “happiness” is unattainable!
Oh, mozartmovement, you are so right! I wouldn’t want anyone to get the impression that all Christmas means to me is the tinsel and shopping. The true meaning of Christmas, the fact that God in His Mercy came down to earth to save mankind through his son Jesus, is a reality I live with 365 days a year! As you say, though, this is just not a time when I am happy. There will be times again when I will be, I know.
Just stopping by to wish you a Merry Christmas! I certainly understand some of your feelings. I also think that maybe your blog could go up in rankings pretty quickly if one of the blogs dealing with Parkinson’s that gets alot of links linked to yours – so hang in there and keep leaving comments on other blogs dealing with Parkinsons/disability.
OTOH know that your blogging, even if it helps just a few people (and I know it helps me), is still worth doing.
I also just posted a Christmas story for kids on my blog – but it’s for adults too so if you want, stop by and read that – maybe it will make you smile. sending hugs….
Ruth
I’ve just been to your blog, too, Ruth. I think we must have cross posted!! I enjoyed your Jingles story very much, and I really appreciated the link to the article about being alone on Christmas. It was very thought provoking.
It’s hard for me to believe that anything I could say would be of help to you, as much help as you have been to me, but I appreciate you saying so.
Here’s wishing you a most joyous and wonderful Christmas!!!