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“I Want to Go Home Now” — 16 Comments

  1. I dry the tears, Ruth, but when I read the post again, I tear up at the end, regardless. What you and I are going through is called Anticipatory Grief, and it truly is grief, even though they are still with us.

    Happy Birthday to Mick!!! We ARE Spring Chickens, aren’t we???

    {{{{HUGS}}}} to you, too.

  2. Hi Rosemary,

    This post truly moved me. I think what we all want for the people we love is to know they’re free from pain. Nothing is as hard to watch as someone you love suffering. I remember when the end came for my Nana. She was close to one hundred. She didn’t have Alzheimer’s or any type of memory impairment, but she was bed bound. Luckily, she was never isolated—my great aunt (her daughter) lived with her and we visited frequently. I was only eleven years old when she died, but I remember wondering when I visited her how happy or unhappy she was. I’m happy for your father that he has you as his rock.

    Bless your heart for being so strong.

    Gilbert Guide

  3. Dry those tears now and have a hug.A very moving and beautifully written post. I had not realised your Dad’s age. 102!!! On Suday it is Mick’s birthday he will be a mere youngster in comparison at 64. It strikes me that you and I are both trying to come to terms with the inevitability of our loved ones future….
    More {{hugs}}

  4. Hugs and prayers from Michigan.
    I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how priceless these last moments can be, even though they’re hard. (I’m crying thinking about it). An aside–a fellow in our church small-group, age about 62, is looking to buy a small house (his first home-buying). With tremendous insight he admitted that, while house-hunting could be exciting, it was sad, too, as he realized he was really searching for “home.” For him, that concept was poignantly illusive. I guess those of us who treasure “being home,” even if it’s just in memory, grasp an inescapable blessing. MM

  5. Lori, you give me far more credit than I deserve. Strong is not the right word for me – determined or stubborn might be, though. And a rock I ain’t!!! I’m the type who holds together surprisingly well during a time like this. Then, when it’s all over and the crisis is past – I fall apart! No rock here, for sure.

  6. These last days together are a priceless treasure, MM. But frankly it’s only later that they can be seen that way. At least that’s the way it’s been for me, and is now. Right now I’m in an exhaustion filled haze that just keeps me plodding along, taking care of one minute, and then the next.

  7. DB, you don’t know how much I had to read your post this evening. Watching my mother fail has been far more difficult than I anticipated. Your strength and wisdom has given me so much insight.Along with the inevitable tears.

    I know how difficult it must be to keep up with everything you do…but thank you for this post.

  8. Amazing that your dad is 102. WOW! I just made a documentary about a man with young onset PD — he is in his 40s now — and his parents are the caregivers. They are his inspiration and his source of strength. They are in their 70s, and still setting alarms every 3 hours to give their son his meds. Quiute the role reversal.

    If you are interested in seeing this award-winning film about a young man with Parkinson’s, please check out

    The more people know about Parkinson’s — through blogs and films and sharing stories, the closer we are to finding a cure for all. Thanks.
    Deborah Fryer

  9. just popped over to give you a {{hug}}. Hope you got my email reply ok…sorry I couldn’t be more help.

  10. Rosemary, I’m sorry to hear of your sadness and tears. You wouldn’t be the caring person you are without them. They are necessary. You know what’s coming. Only you do not know which day or time. Bless your heart and that of your father. I believe from all that I have read about this journey that you have done what all of us would wish our loved ones would do for us. That is all that we can ask.

  11. Sorry I’ve not had time to reply to all your encouraging comments, folks, but it’s been hectic here the last few days. I’ll update as soon as I can.

  12. {{HUG}} DB!

    First, I am so sorry I’m so late to see this. Second, I know how you feel.

    This is such a beautiful post but also so sad. I can feel your exhaustion just reading it. I also completely relate to everything you’re feeling.

    Please know I keep you and your Father in my thoughts daily. It’s the hardest thing, what you’re dealing with…I am in awe of all you do. You are a beautiful person and your family is very lucky to have you. {{Hug}}

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