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Saying Goodbye — 16 Comments

  1. Rosemary, My dh and I were experiencing this beginning last February 2006 with his mother diagnosed with cancer in advanced stages. While nursing her .. I lost my father in May which wasn’t expected, and dh mother passed in June. It was a rough year with two losses. My heart is with you!
    ~ Bonnie

  2. This is our third Hospice in 6 years, my DH is in his fourth year cancer free, and I was diagnosed with PD last year. We’ve been busy, so I can really appreciate the toll two deaths that close must have taken on you, Bonnie.

    I read through some of your blog, and I noticed the Gma and Gpa. Our children and grandchildren called my parents GeeeDaddy and GeeeMama!!

    Why not join us at BLOG VILLAGE??!! You’d fit right in.

  3. I wish I knew what words to say that would ease all your pain and suffering> I will continue to keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. It’s OK, Joe, really. Am I in pain? Yes, plenty. Suffering? No. He’s had a long life, he’s ready to go, and he’ll be in a lot better place soon.

    We’re keeping him dosed with morphine now, so he’s not hurting any longer than it takes me to fill the syringe again.

    I don’t expect to get any sleep tonight.

  5. When I read this I immediately thought of these words. You may already know them, in which case forgive me for repeating them;
    “Although I’m no longer here with you, it is as if I’ve only slipped away into another room. Whatever we were to each other, we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the same way that you always have. Let nothing be different. My boundless love will remain with you for ever. Life means all that it ever meant; it is the same as it always was, with absolute unbroken continuity. For you whom I love and always will, life has so much more to give for you to enjoy, and that is the way it must be. Laugh and smile for me and with me as you reflect upon all those things which we have shared together. Relax as you think of me, and, when you can, pray for me. Let my name be used in all your activities, in no different way. Above all, speak of me without effort, as though I am close by you. I am at peace, and where I am there is no other room. It is an interval somewhere that has an infinite happiness and joy, and some day we’ll meet again to be one together.”
    When the final goodbye is said may your father find peace; it is the best I can wish for him.
    Much love and affection

  6. DB, I have just now been able to catch up with all the news. My mother, as you know, is also entering this last hurdle of life. And I stay with her as much as I can.

    But I think of you often…your words have given me strength so many times.

    Your dad made it to 102. That is so incredible. What a wonderful, long life!

    And your caring so well for him made it possible. My prayers are with you.

  7. I really can feel those hugs, you know! It feels good to have friends who can make things all better, even for just a moment.

    Thanks everyone!

  8. Ruth just quoted my favourite poem. Part of it was left out here but this line “whatever we were to each other, that we are still” is on a large grave marker in our cemetery.

    I am so very sorry about everything you and your Father have gone through, especially lately. I’m reading back and it sounds so much like what I went through. So very many similarities… I wish I was there to help or take some of the load off. It’s truly heartbreaking when we’re trying so hard to care for loved ones and we’re not well ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I felt completely ineffective sometimes and so frustrated that I couldn’t keep up physically. But that was wrong, to be upset with myself, and even my Father knew it was wrong. It was just me.

    It does sound like your Father is going home to heaven. I know this is very very difficult for you and for him. But please know, you are a phenomenal daughter and individual. Your Father is very lucky, and grateful I’m sure, to have you. {{Hug}} Please know I keep you in my thoughts. So many times you have crossed my mind this week.

  9. Carrie, I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know you would have wanted to be there, but it just wasn’t to be. I hope your Mom is doing better, and I do hope you’ve had some time to process all this. You don’t have to tell me how frustrating it is taking care of someone when your own body is your enemy! Big time frustration!! As you too well know.

    Thanks for taking the time to write.

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