Losing It
We closed on the house last Thursday, so now one daughter owns Daddy’s house, and the other is getting a nice inheritance. It was a very nerve racking event, because the mortgage lady has from day one done a very sloppy job. She has waited until the last minute to tell us about all kinds of things we had to rush around and get done. She’s 7 months pregnant, and our DD is afraid if we complain to her boss she will have problems with the baby. If it weren’t for DD being so worried about that, we’d be trying to get some of her commission returned to us, as she had to be the worst business person we’ve ever had to deal with.
Anyway, we went to the bank today and took care of more of the estate business, and I realized after we got there that I had forgotten to bring the mortgage payment check. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about bringing it, and I couldn’t remember what I had done with it after we got home late Thursday night. I remember telling my DH where I put it when we got home, but he couldn’t remember, either. When we came home from the bank, we spent a very hectic afternoon tearing the house apart, looking for it. I was a complete blank, with no idea what the check even looked like. Have you ever tried looking for something when you didn’t even know if it was in an envelope or not?? I cried a lot, prayed a lot, and finally gave up.
I figured if I started cleaning up, I might find it, and I finally did, thanks to God’s help. It wasn’t in a logical place at all. For some reason I had moved it from where I was just sure I had put it to begin with. This whole episode was very scary, and I’ve told DH that as far as I’m concerned his Power of Attorney just started. I’ve always been the one to deal with all business matters, but I can’t trust myself any more.
Mama had the Alzheimer’s type of Parkinson’s, and I’m seeing more and more of it in myself. It’s very depressing to watch yourself go blank. I can only hope that it will turn out to be the result of my insomnia, not Senile Parkinson’s Disease.
I am stopping by from blogvillage. I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. Sometimes under a great deal of stress I become really forgetful, misplace things, get overwhelmed etc. It is so frustrating and makes me feel so helpless. I hope once you get over the hump and life starts to settle down you are able to feel more in control. I love your blog, it is lovely that you are documenting your journey.
I have had bouts of stress induced memory loss for years, but something about this time is different. Sometimes I can tell that the information is in there somewhere, but there are also times when I know immediately that it is just gone. Those are the ones that have me worried. I do appreciate your kind words of concern, Marsha.
I am sorry to hear of this new development, DB.I am holding you in my prayers.
I really appreciate your prayers, Marion. I’ve never been one to pray for miracles, but I do believe that prayer makes any situation easier to deal with.
Are you sure you are not worrying more over this than you should? Or, maybe I should be worrying more, because I do the same thing and I don’t think I have Parkinson’s. What with all the stress you have had, it’s no wonder to me that that could be playing a factor. With our move, I’ve misplaced so many things and hate the chaos our paperwork is in right now. I hope it gets better.
There is something different going on, Shelia, but whether it’s the Parkinson’s, age, or insomnia causing it – that’s another matter. Would you forget in less than two days what you did with a five figure check, to the point that you couldn’t even remember if it was in an envelope or loose? Just nothing – totally blank.
I’m not so much worrying as getting depressed over it. I’m kind of like Joe. I have lived my life as a very organized and methodical person, with a very high IQ, and it’s just not there any more. I haven’t learned to accept the change yet, and hopefully, if it’s insomnia or medicine causing it, I won’t have to.
I’m sorry. I guess I just want to find an explanation that isn’t what you fear. Who wouldn’t be depressed.
Well, Shelia, I certainly hope and pray that you are right!