I’ve been off all PD meds now since Jan. 25, and not doing a whole lot differently now than I was when I was on the meds. That has several possible meanings, so it really doesn’t tell me much.

It could mean that I don’t have PD.
It could mean that I have PD, and I’m one of the people who is not helped by the usual or any meds.
It could mean that these symptoms are related to lumbar and cervical disk problems I have.
It could mean that it’s all in my head – that it’s psychosomatic.
It could mean I do have some kind of neurological problem that has not been determined at this point.
It could be that these symptoms are from the Peripheral Neuropathy that I definitely have.

Whatever it means, I’m certainly not able to decide, so I continue to count the days until I see the MDS in April.

I have had several “spells” lately when I felt particularly stressed emotionally. Trying to get our taxes done, and dealing with my insurance company about the TAP claim both increased my symptoms.

But the worst was last Sunday during Sunday School. Our teacher was not there, but had left an outline of what she wanted us to discuss. We’ve done this before, as we are quite capable of carrying on a discussion on our own. For some reason, though, we weren’t getting anywhere with the discussion, so they asked me to lead it. These are people I’m used to being around, I taught Sunday School for a long time before I had to stay home with parents, and I taught school for 29 years. Leading it meant moving from the back row I normally sit on, and sitting in front of everyone, instead. Trying to lead the discussion up front brought on the facial tics big time, and I was shaking much more than usual. The worse it got, the more self conscious I became of them seeing me jerk and shake, and that made it just that much worse. I finally just told them I needed to stop, because it was making me too nervous. Time was almost up, anyway, so that was the end of class.

It took me a long time to relax after that, and just thinking about it now is bringing back some of the stress.

I really don’t think my symptoms are psychosomatic, but there’s no doubt that stress makes them worse. That’s why I’m usually at my worst at the Neurologist’s office.

I’ve just bought a new laptop computer, and this one has the built in camera. I took a notion the other day to video myself while I worked at the computer. It was a very revealing look at my facial tics, even when I am busy and not particularly aware of them. Maybe I should save some videos and take my computer with me to the MDS appointment. Well, probably not, but I may keep some for myself, anyway.

Hubby and I talked about how I’ve been doing lately, and he is in agreement that I really don’t seem much different off of the meds than I was when I was on them.

I continue to use the TENS device for my neck pain, as well as the Cervical Collar that I pump up, so it works like traction. I’m also doing the series of neck exercises daily, but we haven’t started back to walking yet. Hubby is having a bad flareup with his back, and he’s just not up to it right now. So, I piddle with the compost heap a couple of hours a week, and I am still working hard to get all our toys online in our shop catalog. That involves a good bit of shifting and lifting of tubs of toys, so I am getting some exercise each day.

All in all, I’d say my quality of life is better than a few months ago, at least, and for that I am grateful.