Tag Archives: care giving

Seeing My Doctors Sooner

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by  

I was quite surprised to not only be able to get an appointment with my Gastroenterologist this Friday, but I was also able to get one with my Neurologist next Tuesday. The Neurologist appointment really surprised me, as I know how long I’ve had to wait before to get one. I must have lucked up on one somebody had canceled, but I’m thankful for it, regardless of how I got it.

I’m hoping that, between the two appointments, a definite solution to my stomach problems can be found, and I also need to have a different sleep aide prescription besides Ambien.

The Friday appointment won’t be a problem, because Frances comes on Friday’s anyway, but I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that she can come on Tuesday. She’s out of town right now, so I’ll have to call tomorrow to work out the details. If she can’t, then I’ll have to start calling church members to find somebody who can sit with Daddy for us.

I want to thank you, friends, who put up with my daily moans and groans, to give me an encouraging word. I really need that encouragement right now. Our situation with Daddy has settled into pretty much of a routine, but there are still a lot of questions about what the future will hold. It’s hard to imagine that he will recuperate from this episode and be able to live by himself again. But I keep reminding myself that he’s “graduated” from Hospice once before. He really is amazing! Cantankerous, but amazing!!!

Another Day Goes By

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

Thank goodness the headache was gone yesterday. I can’t say the same for the cramping tummy, though. I started out OK enough, but Daddy had a bathroom accident, and cleaning him up really unsettled my stomach. I managed pretty well while the cleaning was being done, holding my breath a time or two, but once everything should have been through with, then I started feeling nauseated. I spent the rest of the day with the hot pad on my stomach and abdomen, trying to ease the cramping.

I’ve checked my blood pressure, too, thinking that might have something to do with how bad I’ve been feeling. Sometimes it’s been too high, like 144 over 80, but most of the time it’s been just fine. I keep getting these fleeting feelings of lightheadedness or dizziness, which could just be due to tiredness, since the BP is usually OK.

At least I did accomplish something yesterday afternoon. DH wanted me to go to the house for a couple of hours, just to get away, but I really didn’t feel good enough to want to move. So I told him to just pretend I wasn’t here, and I’d rest where I was. So, while he took care of Daddy, I did the research and wrote the descriptions for 5 baby toys to put on eBay just as soon as I can get the photographs taken.

I’m looking forward to Francis coming this morning to give me some more time away from Daddy. That should help. If my tummy seems OK after breakfast, I’ll go to church. If I’m still uncomfortable, I’ll probably just stay home and rest. Whatever I do, being at home or at church and away from the care giving responsibility momentarily will do me good.

Hopefully, I’ll feel good enough to get the photos of the toys done, so we’ll have some items on auction this week. This should have been our busy time online, but under the circumstances, there was just no way to make that a priority. After all, it’s only a hobby, but it’s a hobby that gives me a lot of pleasure, and I need that release right now, too. So I have to balance my time and energy to keep myself as calm and relaxed as possible and still be helpful with Daddy. It’s not fair to DH for him to end up doing everything, particularly since Daddy is such a pain to deal with most of the time.

If anybody’s BP is high, it would be my DH’s, who finds himself constantly stifling the urge to come back with an equally sharp remark, after Daddy has said something particularly insensitive or controlling. He’s always been that way, although I know he loves me, and for the most part I can let it go in one ear and out the other. But DH is overprotective of me, and Daddy makes him mad now.

We Went on a Date Today!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

Thanks to being able to hire the same sitter we had used several years ago, when we were taking care of my mother and father in law, we were able to go out on our Date Day today! It was wonderful to get out of the house and know that Daddy would be well taken care of.

I set a fairly light itinerary for the day, since I knew I was so tired, but I did want to at least go to a few Estate Sales. We had very good luck at one of them, since we caught them at that stage when they just wanted to get rid of everything. That doesn’t happen very often, but when we’re lucky enough to find a real sale like that, we usually leave with some real bargains. Today was no exception. Now all I have to do (HA!) is find the time to photograph everything we bought and write up the descriptions, so we can put them up for sale on eBay.

I managed to take several doses of Tylenol during the day without DH realizing it, as I didn’t want him to know that I was so achy. I was determined that our day together not be spoiled. I only used the cane at one house, because the driveway was very steep, but my walking was stiff and awkward feeling all day today. That’s a sure sign of just how tired I am.

I had a bad headache today, too, something I rarely have any more. I suspect that’s because I’m still not getting enough sleep. I’ve already had my night medicine and a sleeping pill, as I write this, and I plan to go to sleep as soon as I finish this post. I’m really not having that much trouble going to sleep. It’s staying asleep that’s giving me trouble. And, of course, my tummy couldn’t get through the day without putting up a fuss. I was extra careful to eat bland foods, but here I sit, with the hot pad across my middle, trying to make things feel better.

We’ve Hired a Respite Aide!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

I talked to Daddy yesterday about me needing some rest and a chance to settle my nerves and my stomach, and the fact that I had a doctor’s appointment coming up that would require finding someone to stay with him that day. He was agreeable to me trying to get the lady who had stayed at the house when I needed relief with Mama. I was a little surprised he agreed to it so quickly, but very glad he did.

So, I left a message for her to call, and she and I made some arrangements last night. She’s going to spend all day on Friday and part of the day on Sunday with Daddy, so DH and I can get completely away from the care giving responsibilities for just a little while. That will be good for us both, but particularly for me, I think. It also means we can go back to going to the yard sales and Estate Sales and having our Date Day again. I’ve really missed that. And I can go to at least Sunday School, and probably church, too.

Thank goodness Daddy has never been one to spend a lot of money, so we should be able to take care of the respite care costs without a problem. I really feel for those care givers who are not able to pay anyone to give themselves a break every once in awhile. I hope for their sakes that they have family nearby who can spell them. Since we don’t have family near, this is our best choice. She’s already used to Daddy, and he’s already used to her, and we trust her. We couldn’t ask for a better combination.

Frances was so excited to hear from us, being the Christmas season, and she was between jobs. She was more than happy to take part time work, under the circumstances. I told her we’d understand if she found full time employment, as long as she kept her obligation for my Dec. 20th appointment. She agreed. So a salary was agreed on, and she will be at Daddy’s at 7:00AM this Friday!!

Muddling Through a Rough Day

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Well, it was good while it lasted, but the Ambien didn’t keep me asleep last night or the night before. I had a particularly rough day with Daddy yesterday, too, so the sleep would have been helpful. Daddy was way over in the middle of his Queen sized bed and couldn’t seem to get up yesterday. I tried helping him get into position to sit up, and even pulled on him some, but he sat up several times and fell back over each time. I called DH to come up and help early, which he did. By the time he arrived, I’d finally gotten him to sit on the side of the bed, and I’d managed to change him out of his wet night things. But I sure wasn’t going to try to help him walk up the hall to the living room, not as worn out as I already was, and as weak as he was.

We worked together to finish getting him dressed and get breakfast on the table, and afterwards we took him to the toilet, because he hadn’t had a bowel movement in several days. I gave him a Dulcolax the night before and prune juice for breakfast, so it was time to expect results. Nature finally took care of things, but it seemed to wear him out, as he slept in his chair almost all morning.

Without going into any details, I had quite a cleaning to do in the bathroom, and it set off the nausea, just as it has ever since I’ve been on the PD meds. I tried all day long to relax, take some gas pills and antacids, but nothing would settle my stomach. It really didn’t stop hurting and cramping on me until about bedtime. I blamed a lot of it on tasting the pork and beans at lunch, but my tummy was already tender before that.

Let’s face it. Care giving involves dealing with some less than pleasant bodily functions. We dealt with them when our children were babies, and we deal with them again when our parent’s bodies return to the state of babies. There are times in life when such tasks are easier to deal with than others, I guess, because this is certainly not one of my better times. DH isn’t very good in this particular department, either, although he’s improving out of necessity, God love him. I took care of all this sort of thing with my mother and his Dad, but now he’s having to help, and he’s doing his very best to survive it. He’s from the generation that didn’t even change diapers, either, so he doesn’t even have that experience to fall back on. Under the circumstances, he’s doing fantastic. I can’t brag on him enough.

I can’t help but wonder if it has occurred to him that he’s getting the practice he will need to take care of me someday, hopefully way off in the future. It has certainly occurred to me!

Ahhh To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 7

Thank goodness for Ambien. I called my Neurologist’s nurse yesterday and explained the situation with Daddy. She called in the prescription, and I had a good night’s sleep last night, for the first time in a week. Whew!! That felt good.

It will take me a few days to get over being so tired, I expect, but getting a good night’s sleep will make a world of difference in what I can accomplish without being totally exhausted. Maybe I can even get back to practicing my Tai Chi in Daddy’s living room. After going to all that trouble to learn it again, I sure don’t want to forget it. And it’s good for my balance and stamina, too.

I’ve been reading some articles lately that say Pilates is good for PWP (people with Parkinson’s), so that may be the next thing I look into. I haven’t been able to figure out from what I’ve read if these were specially modified Pilates classes or not. Of course, it would make a big difference if they were. Speaking of PWP, I’ve also found that Parkinson’s folks call themselves Parkies. Ain’t that cute? So I’m a PWP and a Parkie now.

One of the Hospice people tried unsuccessfully several times yesterday afternoon to call us from her cell phone. We live in the middle of nowhere, as far as cell coverage is concerned. “Can you hear me now” just won’t work out here. In fact, we had Verizon, and dropped it, because we couldn’t get it to work at all LOL. She never did come, and we never did get to talk to her, either.

I’m considering ordering DSL for here, so I don’t have to depend on my cell phone while I’m on the computer. Plus, for some reason, the program our church uses for editing our website just won’t let me FTP from here on dialup. It works fine at the house on DSL. I’m the church webmaster, and that has to be updated weekly.

As you may be able to tell, I’m in a pretty good mood today. It’s been over a week since he fell, and we’ve developed somewhat of a routine. Now that I know I will be able to sleep, I feel like we can handle whatever comes, between the two of us. We’ve had plenty of care giving experience, and we have Hospice for support. Our daughters and church family will help where they can, and we have our faith in God to hold us in the good and the bad times. What more could we ask.

Your prayers and kind thoughts are always appreciated, too. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much!

The New Normal is Settling In

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

We’re getting into something of a routine around here, so things are beginning to settle down. DH has been coming up each morning and helping in any way he can, as I get Daddy up and dressed, and we get breakfast going. Hospice has left the wheelchair, a bedside table, an emergency oxygen tank, and one of those oxygen maker machines that plugs in, for when we eventually need it. The bath lady comes out today, too. And his medicine should be coming via FedEx today, also.

We’re taking turns going home for a few hours during the day, so I can take care of our Internet business and get packages ready to ship. And I can play with our cat for a bit, too. We live right down the street, so it’s not that big a deal.

With all that settling down, my PD symptoms have come under control again, I’m happy to say. My only continuing problem is the lack of sleep, and I’ve given that long enough to get under control naturally. I’m calling the Neurologist today and see what he can prescribe, as I can’t possibly continue at this rate indefinitely.

DH scrubbed and mopped the kitchen floor and brought our good vacuum cleaner up here last night, so we could give the carpets a good cleaning, too. We’ve got the time to do it, so we’ll gradually get the house cleaned up. We’ve had to neglect it this last year, what with our daughter being in the hospital so much and then me being so sick. Daddy has always vetoed any suggestions at paying someone to come in and clean. Because he’s blind, he really doesn’t like strangers in the house, and I can understand that.

I’m not sure yet if we’ll try to find some part time help to give us a day off or two, since Daddy is so uncomfortable with that. It really depends on how much we need it. We have to take care of ourselves, too, and time away from all this is part of that process.

Care Giving Ain’t What It Used to Be

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

It’s only been less than 4 years since we were care givers for my FIL, keeping him at home with the help of Hospice, after he had been in the hospital. He was in a very nice Assisted Living Home before then, because he resented us, probably for taking him out of his home, and we couldn’t handle his violent outbursts. They never had any problems with him at the Assisted Living. It was an emotionally draining job, but one we have never regretted doing.

Here I am, just 4 years older, and taking care of Daddy has worn me slap out, thanks to PD. My dear hubby has really had to take up the slack and get much more involved in taking care of my Daddy than he would have had to, if I had not developed Parkinson’s Disease. As an example, a couple of days ago my legs stayed wobbly all day long, even after I took my PD meds, and I didn’t trust myself to help Daddy walk, so DH had to do it.

First off, the emotional stress of finding him Friday started me off “in the hole” so to speak, and my medicines never have been able to catch up.

Also, I’ve not been able to get a decent night’s sleep at Daddy’s. The same recliner that I slept in for several years when I stayed with Mama is no longer that comfortable to me, and that’s the only place there is for me to sleep. So, I end up going to sleep early, waking up somewhere around midnight, and spending the rest of the night on the computer. Luckily, I’ve been dozing quite a bit on the computer during the rest of the night hours. But that’s still a poor second to a good night’s sleep.

So we decided the best thing to do was to try to get Home Health or Hospice here to give us some help. That’s why we took Daddy to the doctor’s Monday. Well, Dr. M. followed through, just as I expected him to. The Hospice nurse came today to admit Daddy, and I filled out all kinds of paperwork. They will be sending someone twice a week to help him bathe, a nurse will come by once or twice a week, and they will provide all Depends type products and most of his medicines, too. They’re sending a wheelchair Friday, so we can take back the one we borrowed.

Daddy understands that I need the help, so he’s being very agreeable to all this. She offered to send a hospital bed, but Daddy’s not ready for that yet, so she said just let her know when he needed it. It’s not a whole lot of help, but any is better than none, and with his age and all, he’s bound to need more and more care from now on. This way, all the routines are in place, and he’ll be used to the people coming and going and being in and out of the house. It should certainly make things easier for DH and me, knowing that he’s being seen by a nurse each week.

Took Daddy to the Doctor

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

We did take Daddy to the doctor yesterday afternoon. We borrowed a wheelchair from one of our church friends, and we have a very nice ramp left from when Mama needed it, so that made getting him there less of a hassle. The worst part was the long wait at the doctor’s office. We had a 2:00 appointment, but didn’t see him until after 3:00, and that’s normal. If he weren’t so conveniently close to the house, we wouldn’t put up with it.

Anyway, he started talking about MRI’s and tests on carotids, and I told him that we wouldn’t be doing any of that, because we wouldn’t be following through with any of the results. That took him aback for a second, and then he stopped and thought about who his patient was, and agreed with me. I told him my concern was if Daddy might be developing pneumonia, which could be dealt with, and could he get us some help from Home Health or Hospice. I told him that the stress and extra work of the last few days had exhausted my Parkinson’s meds ability to cope with my symptoms, and that my legs were very wobbly. He agreed that Daddy should qualify for some kind of help, and he would get his office lady on it. He gave Daddy an antibiotic shot and a prescription for more antibiotics, and that was it. He agreed with me that it appeared that he had suffered a small stroke, but was reluctant to start him on Cumadin or any other blood thinner, because of his age (he’s 101).

So, it was a long day, and a tiring one, as only waiting in a doctor’s office can be tiring, but I think we accomplished what I had hoped we would. This doctor will get him on Hospice if it’s possible, and that will be the help we need to keep him in his own home. The one thing Daddy dreads is ending up in the hospital or a nursing home, and it’s important to me that I help him have the Quality of Life that he wants, even if it shortens it a little. As long as he has lived, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. With the extra help, and all the help that my DH is giving, we’ll make it through this. We’ve known it was coming, as it was inevitable, but it’s still harder to deal with than we had planned, thanks to the Parkinson’s leaving me with so little stamina.

Life’s Unexpected Turns

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

This has certainly been a strange last couple of days for me. It started with my laptop suddenly getting the dreaded Blue Screen of Death over and over, for no apparent reason, right before Thanksgiving. We had all the family coming for dinner, and that meant moving all the eBay stuff out of the guest bedroom, so the grandkids could spend the night. That meant there was no time to work on the ole ‘puter, so I had my first taste of computer withdrawal LOL.

I behaved myself, and only worked on the computer in between housework, as I found out very quickly that I have no stamina at all. I used to be able to move all the stuff quite easily, dust and vacuum, and generally straighten the house with no trouble, but not any more. It seemed like I needed to sit down every few minutes and catch my breath. Thank goodness my dear hubby was doing all he could to straighten up the place, and of course he did all the shopping.

Our family helped out a lot on Thanksgiving, instead of just coming and sitting down to the meal, the way they always have before. Our SIL cooked the turkey, and our daughters took care of the deserts, so DH fixed the vegetables, and I didn’t have to do anything. It’s just as well, as I woke up with those bad stomach cramps and the bloating again on Thanksgiving Day. I spent most of the day with a hot pad on my tummy, ate almost nothing at lunch, but did enjoy having everybody here. Daddy ate almost nothing, and no amount of prodding would get another bite in him. The kids were particularly good this year, as they stayed quiet all day. I asked DD if she had threatened them within an inch of their lives, but she said she hadn’t said a thing to them. So they hadn’t made Daddy nervous, as they sometimes do with their playful noise, so it didn’t make sense that he wasn’t eating.

We had a wonderful time enjoying getting to visit with everybody all at once, particularly since our older daughter and her hubby will be with his parents for Christmas this year. Younger daughter and the girls spent the night and didn’t go home until Friday afternoon, so we did get on our other laptop and do some Wishlist shopping for the girls, so I’ll have some things to pick from that they really want.

After such a pleasant day and a half, even with my stomach cramping, our whole world turned upside down when I got up to Daddy’s to fix his supper Friday evening. I found him in the living room floor, conscious, but unable to get out of the floor. He was not hurt, evidently, and doesn’t remember falling, but he’d been on the floor most of the day. Mind you, he has one of those “I’ve Fallen, and I Can’t Get Up” buttons in his shirt pockets, but he wouldn’t use it! I’ve never been able to get him to use it. No matter how many times I explain it to him, he thinks it’s going to call an ambulance and take him to the hospital. But I have it set to call us, and then a neighbor, and only call the EMT’s as a last resort.

So I called my DH, and he all but ran up there, and got him out of the floor, by the hardest. He was very weak, as he had not eaten since breakfast, and he’s diabetic. We got some juice and a banana into him, and soon realized that he must have had a mild stroke, as his speech was slurred.

So, I’ve been taking care of him now for the last few days. He seems to be getting stronger, and his appetite is improving. His speech is still slurred and I’m being really careful to feed him thick foods like oatmeal, so he won’t choke. I’m not sure what we will do today. It would be extremely difficult to take him to the doctor, and I’m not so sure it would accomplish anything if we did.

As for me, I can really tell the stress has put a strain on my Parkinson’s meds. My balance is poor, because I’m really tired, and my back is bothering me from trying to help him stand up. Luckily, I’ve had lots of practice at care giving, and I do know the correct way to do things, body mechanics wise.

Daddy will be 102 in March, so it’s going to be very difficult for him to recover from whatever happened Friday. He wants to stay home, and I want to be able to help him do that if it’s at all possible. If I could be fairly certain that taking him to the doctor would get us some Hospice help, then it would be worth the trouble of getting him in and out of the car and the doctor’s office.