Tag Archives: depression

Physical Therapy Continues

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 5

I am shocked at how weak my right side has become. And a little scared, too, as I can see that I’m going to be in need of care giving a lot sooner than I had imagined, if I cannot regain at least a reasonable amount of my muscle strength. The PT has been very kind this week, and has allowed me to take the time to do the leg exercises on both sides, even though the “prescription” from the doctor only addresses the right knee. Actually, I don’t really think the knee is the problem, only the result. The real problem, which is definitely the case on both sides, but more so on the right, is that my hip muscles are extremely compromised. That’s causing the unnatural gait and putting the extra strain on the knee. The right one just complained more because of the stress shifting Daddy in the bed caused.

My shoulder is definitely improving, so that’s something to be pleased with, anyway. She didn’t even work on it yesterday, except for the electrical stimulation and moist heat therapy at the end of the session. I spent two hours there yesterday, just working on my legs and hips. Plus, we walked yesterday morning, and I did 3/4 of a mile, with the cane.

She wants me to cut back on the walking every few days to one or two laps to give my muscles a chance to recuperate, so I’ll just sit and watch DH finish his laps on those days. She tells me that the Peripheral Neuropathy causes my muscles to fatigue faster than normal and bounce back more slowly, so I have to be careful to not overdo each set of exercises and rest longer between them than other people would need to.

We chatted while I worked, and it seems that she has another patient right now with idiopathic PN, too. Idiopathic just means the doctors don’t know what’s causing it, which is true for me, too. Anyway, I gave her the address for this blog to pass along to her, and I hope she does stop by. I know it helps me to chat with people with similar problems, and it’s very hard to find much on the Internet about Peripheral Neuropathy that’s not caused by diabetes.

My hip sockets and upper thighs ached the rest of the day yesterday, so I ended up taking a Lortab to get to sleep last night. I do feel better this morning, though, and we won’t go to the track today, since it’s our Date Day. That will help my muscles rest and rebuild. She wants to see me two times next week, again to allow more time for the muscles to rest before the therapy sessions. Of course, I have my list of home exercises to continue, so I’ll still be getting therapy.

Oh, another thing I did yesterday was to stop and buy new bottles of my Centrum Silver and vitamin C+D. I found out at the eye doctor’s office the other day that not everyone can dissolve the wax that’s used to turn medicines into pills. That means some people pass the pills straight through their body without even getting any benefit at all. I had heard that before, that sometimes when septic tanks are cleaned out they are full of pills! So,to get maximum benefit, he told me to change to capsules or gels. Centrum doesn’t seem to come that way, so I got the chewable ones instead, and I found the C+D in gells. She also said I was not taking enough of the C for my Osteopenia (loss of bone mass that is not as bad as Osteoporosis), so now I’ll be taking those twice a day. She warned me not to try to just take one huge dose, though. She says the body can’t absorb more than about 500 units at a time.

Sorry to sound so depressing today, but this has really slammed home to me how much function I’ve already lost, with no way of knowing if I can regain it. I can only do my best to follow the PT’s directions and hope for the best.

Sleep? What’s That???

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 11

I’m tired. I’ve reached the point that I’m too tired to sleep, even when I could. I have the Ambien CR, but the Neurologist doesn’t want me taking it all the time.

Besides, I might not hear Daddy if I’m doped up. He’s becoming very unpredictable as to his sleeping patterns. There have been some nights lately where he hallucinated much of the night, even clawing to take off his Depends and trying to climb over the bed rails. Other nights, he talks in his sleep. I’ve had several lengthy conversations with him in the middle of the night, where he never opens his eyes, and I can tell he’s still asleep LOL! Other nights, he barely twitches a muscle, but stays in exactly the same place all night long. That’s not good for his skin.

The lift has helped with the lack of strength problem tremendously (Daddy’s and mine, too), and Daddy is accepting it without argument, thank goodness. He’s also letting us feed him, which surprised me. I thought he’d balk, but I think he’s beyond that. He still takes spells of hateful talk, but it doesn’t happen too often any more. Frances heard it for the first time yesterday. It really surprised her. We told her that meant she was part of the family now. 😉

We’ve reached that point in care giving where we pretty much control everything to do with Daddy now. We’ve bought sweat pants and put his regular zipper pants away. I’ve put up his watch, wallet, and keys, which he’d always put on first thing each morning. He’s no longer wearing athletic undershirts or his favorite flannel shirts. We’ve bought him some knit Henley long sleeve shirts instead, so we could get them on and off easier that the unstretching flannels. He’s in white diabetic ankle socks, instead of his dress socks, and I can’t remember the last time he had on both shoes. In fact now we’re not even bothering with the slipper socks, as he’s not standing or walking. The sores on his bottom and his heel look much better, because we have more control over his skin now that he’s not walking and in his own bed. It’s no wonder he keeps asking to go home! He certainly doesn’t recognize the life he’s living now. But he’s safe (well, except for his rail climbing times), and he’s as comfortable as we can get him.

The Zelepar seems to be sufficient for my physical Parkinson’s symptoms, but I’m not sure any medicine could improve the mental deterioration I see, considering all we’re doing right now. Thank goodness for backspace and spell check!!

At the rate I’m going it won’t be long before it’s just too difficult to try to correct all my typing mistakes. I’ll just join Joe, and let you see what it’s really like for me HA!!

So, I’ve cut out what I could in the way of other responsibilities. I haven’t put a new item on eBay in some time, and I’ve put up a notice that we are not able to ship promptly right now. I’ve sent an email to all the BLOG VILLAGE members, asking them to help me with the monthly check on all the voting links and dead blogs. I’ve even cut down on my own reading and commenting, not because I want to, but because I’m just overwhelmed right now.

As you can see, I’m not very cheery today. I’ll feel better once I get some sleep, though – whenever that will be.

Things Have Settled Down Again

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 6

When I posted a couple of days ago, things were looking pretty grim with Daddy. But each time I’ve not been able to get him to eat much, I’ve been giving him his medicine with Boost to drink, instead of water. So, he’s a little stronger now than he was.

Frances stayed with him yesterday, so we could go to Sunday School and church, and have a little free time to ourselves after lunch. Daddy didn’t want to get out of the bed before I left, but Frances said she’d deal with whatever needed to be done. Thank goodness we have someone with him I can actually trust him with. We are very fortunate.

We were pleased to find, when we returned, that he was lucid and had been using the walker all day. DH had a deacon’s meeting to go to, so I took care of supper and putting him to bed all by myself. I did take him to the bedroom in the wheelchair, because he had gone sound asleep in his chair already and he seemed woozy. But I didn’t have a problem making the transfer, using the walker to make the change, instead of having him hold onto me.

This morning was not quite as normal as I would have hoped, but it wasn’t too bad. The hallucinations have been mild today, and he’s walked most of the day. I did use the wheelchair to take him to breakfast, as I had him by myself again. DH had to travel to a family funeral.

We get the hospital bed this afternoon, so that will make a lot of things easier for us. And Daddy surprised me about that. He protested when he realized we had ordered it, but I was able to get him to understand that we had followed his wishes on that as long as we could. He hasn’t fussed about it since. That may change when he actually has to sleep in it, but I’ll deal with that when and if it happens.

Through all of this, the Zelepar has been working just fine. It was definitely the strep throat that kept it from working before. I’m still on the antibiotic, and my throat’s still sore sometimes, but I think the strep is gone finally.

So, all in all I’d say things have settled down again, but I know how quickly that can change. I’ll just be thankful for now and let next take care of itself!!

Update on Daddy

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

We took Daddy to the Orthopedist Tuesday, with help from our paid care giver, Frances. That was money well spent, as he still is extremely difficult to transfer from the wheelchair to the car and back. Also, there was so much paperwork to fill out that they were ready to take him downstairs for X-rays before I was through with it all. Thank goodness Frances was there to take him, as DH had gone to the store while we were at the doctor’s.

Daddy fell the day after Thanksgiving, but the severe pain and stiffness in his right arm didn’t show up until Jan. 3. We figured it was due to using the walker and from putting so much pressure on his arms when he was getting up and down from chairs.

Well, that probably is the reason the pain started later, but it turns out that he has a small chip of the bone at his elbow! Thank goodness the Orthopedist did not put him in a sling. Instead, he’s having us put one of those tennis elbow type braces below his elbow. It’s supposed to take the pressure off the tendon that connects to the end of his elbow. I tried it the first day under his long sleeved shirt, but by evening his arm and hand were swollen, and it was all I could do the get to the brace from under his sleeve. I’ve been putting it on the outside of his shirt ever since, and it seems to work just as well. I didn’t even have to adjust it last night, as his arm was not so swollen.

The brace seems to be helping, thank goodness. We go back to see Dr. J in a month to see how he’s progressing.

So, the arm is better. I wish I could leave it at that. But that would be only half the story. The stress of trying to get him in and out of the car, plus all the strange goings on with the X-rays, a strange doctor, and a strange place, and his pain on top of all that, have left Daddy confused. He has said several things that made it clear that he no longer thinks he’s at home. He’s also been talking about those children who are making all the noise and running around. Maybe he’s had another small stroke. Maybe his depression is worse. I don’t know. I just know that he is altered.

We continue to take one step forward and two back, it seems.

I’ve Lost Christmas!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 10

Ya know how sometimes it’s too warm when you should be Christmas shopping, and it’s just hard to get in the mood? Well, something like that has happened to me this year. First, we have had shirt sleeve weather, which doesn’t help the situation any, but that’s not really the problem. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me this year.

We’re not going to see either of our daughters or their families this weekend. We didn’t decorate our house, because we haven’t been there enough to do it, nor to see it if we had. We put a tiny tree up in Daddy’s living room, but that’s it. Our only Christmas shopping was over the internet, so we haven’t been in any of the crowds, nor had the fun of looking for all the little stocking stuffer unique oddities that our grown kids and grandkids look forward to. I’ve even missed all the Christmas programs at church.

Oh, we’ve had the songs on the radio, but they start that way too early, so it loses its effect. My Sunday School Class did come by here on the way to their Christmas party and sing Christmas carols to Daddy. That was about as close to feeling like it really was Christmas as I have felt. In the vacuum of taking care of Daddy and trying to take care of myself, it just doesn’t feel magical this year. And that’s very depressing. There, I’ve said it out loud. Yes, I am depressed this Christmas, a feeling I have never experienced before on such a joyous holiday.

I never meant, when I started this blog, for it to turn into a place to wallow in self pity, but it sure seems more and more that’s all I’m doing. I guess I could make excuses and call it therapeutic LOL. All I wanted to do was keep a running record of what it was like from day to day, for my own sake, and possibly to benefit someone else going through similar experiences with Parkinson’s.

I was also hoping that by posting regularly, my keywords would attract other PWP through the Search Engines, and I could enjoy some conversations with other people going through the same things I am. That hasn’t happened, either. Maybe it will in time, but right now the Page Rank of this blog is still zero. It’s hard to move up through the Google ranks, and it takes time and patience.

So we take one day at a time, each one feeling pretty much like the day before, expecting the next to feel pretty much like today. It’s a care giving rut that leaves no end in sight, because only God knows the outcome of all this. All we can do is our best from moment to moment.

Acid Reflux Still, Plus Procrastination????

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

The last few days have been relatively uneventful, so I haven’t been posting. We enjoyed our Date Day, and the cane certainly made things easier to navigate than the walker did. My muscles had a good workout for the day, and I could tell it Saturday, but that’s OK. The exercise is good for me, and getting out of the house is even better.

I’m still fighting the acid reflux, though. I can’t seem to get it stopped, and my throat is definitely irritated. I’ve played around with the timing of my meds, eating some crackers when I take the pills, and I think that’s going to be the right thing to do. I’ve also upped my water intake, as that is good for my throat. I’ve been experimenting with when to eat supper, too, in relation to taking that last Sinemet. Yesterday, I took the third one at 4:30PM and ate supper at 5:30. That seemed to work pretty well, as it gives me time to empty my stomach before I get sleepy at 8:00PM. Sometimes I can manage to stay awake later, but not always. But then I’m wide awake at 4:00 or 5:00AM in the morning. I’ve always been an early to bed, early to rise sort of person, so this is nothing new.

What is new, that I’m just now coming to terms with, is that I’m procrastinating on paying bills, and I really don’t know why. I’ve been doing it for months now, even letting some credit cards get late charges. DH gets very upset with me, and I have no defense, because he’s right. I have plenty of time to get it done, and spend way too much time on the computer. It just seems like every time I think about doing certain things, I talk myself out of it. I’m wondering if this isn’t a sign of depression, as this is just not like me at all. Or maybe it’s a PD symptom? Or maybe I’ve just gotten lazy!!