Tag Archives: difficulty walking

Primidone is HELPING!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

I’ve been trying to get to this post for several days now, and other things just kept getting in the way. Also, it looks like I have good news, and I didn’t want to celebrate too soon. The Primidone seems to be helping!!

I finally got in touch with Dr. Watts’ UAB Neurology team, and he sent in a prescription for Primidone on Friday a week ago. I took my first dose Friday night, and was pretty well looped all day Saturday, and almost as drugged feeling all day Sunday. But I was NOT jerking, and my hand was still! My walking was very odd, like I was on a boat or a dock. When I stood still I kind of wobbled, instead of shaking, as if it were slowing the speed of the movements down and increasing the amplitude, if that makes any sense. That lasted for several days, but then by about Wednesday I was only noticing the good effects. As long as the dose was in me, I did not shake, wobble, or tremor at all. Ignoring the slow walking, I was back to NORMAL! Even my handwriting improved. I was not depressed, but trying not to celebrate too soon, because the next step was to add a morning dose, and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen then.

I started taking a second dose in the morning as well on Monday. I do get a little woozy feeling for just a little while about an hour or two after I take it, but other than that, it seems to be helping a lot. I have a slight mouth twitch today, the third day I have had two doses, which I did not have Monday or Tuesday. But that is the only symptom other than the slow walking that I have! I do have to be more careful with steps – it’s like I can’t tell where my feet are.

I am not depressed at all with the Primidone, the way I was with the Clonazepam, and I am very hopeful that this medicine will work for me. I am still doing research on this medicine, but its brand name is Mysoline, and its primary use is in controlling seizures. They assured me that there were no signs of seizures from my tests, so this is what they call an off label use of the drug.

This medicine has a very long half life, and that means there is still plenty of the drug in my system when it is time to take the next dose. Actually, when I was taking just the one pill, I took it at 7:00PM and it did not completely wear off until four or five o’clock the next afternoon. I am also on the lowest dose, so there is room to go if I get used to the medicine and need to up the dosage.

Did you see me doing the happy dance????

I am so thankful to God for his tender mercies!!!!!!!!!!

On Days and Off Days

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I am definitely less depressed since gradually cutting the dose and frequency of the Clonazepam, but I still have on days and off days. Thursday I went until sometime after 5:00PM without any facial tics at all, and then spent the whole evening jerking like crazy. When I’m like that, my face contorts, my left shoulder jerks forward, and my foot dances a jig uncontrollably. I was on a half pill only at night then. Friday I jerked and twitched all day long, also on the half pill dose. I also had a huge startle reflex while we were out on our Date Day, something I haven’t done to that extent in some time. Now today, Saturday, my mouth is all quiet and well behaved so far. I did not take even the half pill of the Clonazepam last night.

I had called twice to UAB, trying to get them to go on and send in the prescription for an alternative to the Clonazepam, because our drugstore would be closed from Friday evening until Tuesday. They did not get it called in, nor did I get a callback from a member of Dr. Watt’s team. The receptionist did tell me on my second call that Dr. D was sick. He is the member of the team who apparently is the one I will be seeing the most. So, I have to assume that is why nothing was taken care of.

I have found that I can at least mask what my mouth is doing in public by chewing sugar free gum. I’ve always been a gum smacker, so I am trying to get out of that habit, and reach a point were I can slowly chew and control the horrible twisting, twitching, and jerks my mouth does so much.

The right foot continues to do its own little dance, which makes me feel unstable as I stand still or walk. Going up and down steps is harder when there is no way of knowing what my foot is going to do at the moment. So I am still using the cane everywhere except here in the house and at church. The few steps I have to deal with at church are entrances, and hubby is there with me going in and out, so I can skip the cane and feel a little more inconspicuous.

I should have taken the last dose of the Clonazepam last night, but I thought it would be wiser to see how I would be today, rather than being even more unpredictable than usual for church tomorrow morning. Since I’ve been OK today, it looks like the decreasing dosing was done slowly enough to not leave any withdrawal symptoms. But there is now way of knowing how I will be in the next minute, let alone tomorrow for church.

I continue to stay busy searching and posting on our Lost Toy blog, and have been able to help quite a few families, thanks to all the folks who read the requests for help and search for them, too. If you have never been to that blog, you ought to go read some of the stories and try to help them. It’s a very satisfying feeling to help them. And I continue to add to our online Plush Toy catalog, too, so I stay very busy.

Oh, and I mustn’t forget to mention that it looks like our Centipede grass is actually beginning to come up in the composted side yard. I worked for a little while this morning in between the shrubs and the driveway, digging that section up and trying to get as many of the weeds out of that section as I can. We can plant Centipede here until July, so I should have it ready long before then.

Take each moment as it comes, Rosemary – a lesson I am being taught daily.

Misery Loves Doesn’t Love Company

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 12

I am so counting the days until my appointment next week! The depression level I am feeling is so pervasive that I am not fit to be around right now. Hubby is doing what he can to leave me alone and not trigger another crying spell. Or worse, make me mad. We had an actual verbal fight last week, which is most unusual for us.

I knew when I worked in the basement while he was gone that he would be livid when he found out, but I did it anyway. I just needed to be “normal” for a little while so badly that I didn’t care that it would cause a fight. He won’t let me go down in the basement, because he is afraid I will fall. We do have a horrible mess down there, that needs cleaning out terribly, and I am much more impatient about it than he is.

I hate depending on someone else to get something done that I should be able to do myself. I hate being sick. I hate shaking. I hate being off balance. I hate being seen in public jerking all over the place. I hate using the cane and looking like each step is going to be my last. I hate looking old. I hate not being able to do any work in the yard long enough to accomplish anything.

But most of all I hate this horrible feeling that they are not going to find anything physically wrong with me, and that I am going to end up on some psychiatrist’s couch or on mind altering drugs. This Clonazepam is bad enough. I looked up the side effects, and depression and loss of balance are right there in black and white. I’m taking a med to stop some of the very things it will give me – doesn’t make much sense does it. I still have the strong mouth tics when I am the least bit upset, and my face is definitely beginning to contort, with right eyebrow high, left eyelid drooping over the eye, and mouth pulled to the left. It looks like I have had a stroke, and can’t control the left side of my face, but it’s actually quite the opposite, the muscles on the left pull it that way.

I did finally recuperate from the left leg weakness and pain left over from the EEG test, but my nerves have yet to settle back down from the super loud MRI last week. I’m crying at almost everything right now, and can’t stand noise at all. The loud TV commercials are bothering me so badly that hubby has started hitting the mute button when they come on. Last Sunday, for some strange reason, the young fellow who runs our sanctuary sound system had some of “his” kind of religious music piping in the auditorium before church. As far as I know that has never happened before. People were talking louder than usual to be heard over the extra noise. I sat there for a few minutes, and then told hubby we had to leave. I just couldn’t take it. So, we were some of the first folks at our favorite Chinese restaurant last Sunday. I went to church that night, and it was fine. But that morning was horrible.

I am not sleeping as well as I was, either. Some nights have been good, but there have been a few of the kind I used to have, where I am up at 3 or 4 in the morning. I am not using the TAP, as I just don’t think I can deal with it right now. Somehow I just have to make it through until next Wednesday.

I’ve completely rearranged one of the bedrooms we keep part of our plush lovies stock in, and I have worked some in the yard, trying to get the area ready to plant grass where I worked on the lasagna compost all winter long. I’m trying very hard to stay busy and focused on something besides me, but it ain’t workin’!!

Wow! That was quite a rant, even for me!! But it felt good to put it down on paper and acknowledge it. It’s real, and I’m not exaggerating. Hopefully, I will be able to look back on this post soon and be thankful it is all over. I always cling to hope, even in my darkest despairing times. God is good. AMEN!

Unexpected Aftermath of EEG Test – Still on Clonazapam

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

I had an EEG back when my own Neuro was trying to decide what was wrong with me, so I knew what to expect. Well, I thought I knew what to expect. My “good” left foot has been extremely painful and difficult to walk on for the last few days. At first I blamed it on all the walking we did at the cemetery in my Sketchers, which I now use as Sunday shoes. But I don’t think that was the culprit.

I was on the exam table for about 45 minutes, jerking and shaking the whole time. I can’t lay down flat like that without setting off back spasms, so I put my good knee up and had my bare foot pressed against the thin pad of the exam table. I must have been pushing down on my foot a lot harder than I realized, in an effort to bear the discomfort of all the jerking. It is gradually improving, but I noticed yesterday that my thigh is also aching. My foot was hurting so badly that I had not even noticed the leg. So, I’ve decided that’s what is wrong with my foot, rather than my shoes. Those are the only unclunky looking shoes I have been able to wear, so I am glad that they probably did not cause my good leg to give me so much trouble.

You are supposed to go up with the good and down with the bad leg, so it was comical yesterday at church trying to figure out which foot to lead with. One hurt, and the other shook! LOL I decided it was safer to lead with the painful one, rather than the jerky one. At least I was less likely to fall.

Speaking of shaking, the Clonazapam may be helping some, particularly with my mouth, but I am staying in a stupor, sleeping through my morning pill alarm, and just generally fuzzed out. He says it will go away — I sure hope so. Otherwise, I won’t be able to take this med.

I can’t see any improvement in my foot or my shoulder jerks, though. I’m waiting now to hear about my MRI appointment. I am going to call them today, since we still have not heard from them.

Patience … still haven’t learned it.

Week One of my Experiment

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

OK folks, I’ve been off of all my Parkinson’s meds for exactly a week now. I am definitely having more facial tics, but not enough to be the sole reason that I would go back on the meds. Walking is perhaps a little slower and more labored, but nothing like it was back when I was originally diagnosed. So, it remains to be seen just how much this changes this next week. My hand and legs tremors are more pronounced, but again not to a point that I feel compelled to go back on the meds.

And why, you may ask, am I doing this to myself? I am a scientist by nature, with a lifetime of dealing with challenges by using the scientific method. That means isolating the cause and effect relationship by changing only one thing at a time, and using a control as a comparison point. Obviously I can’t do this experiment with all the steps in place, but I can try.

It would be so much easier if I had some way to accurately quantify the amount of Bradykinesia (slow movement), tics (involuntary facial muscle twitches), and tremors I have, with their locations, but this is all, by its very nature, subjective.

I’ll continue with my experiment on me for a while longer, but I will try to live each day to the fullest, too, and not make this diagnosis all I am about.

So today we went on our Date Day as usual, and I had a wonderful time with my hubby. We just enjoy being in each other’s company. I know we are in the house together for days at a time, but he’s doing his thing and I’m doing mine. On Fridays, we spend the day together – really together.

Odd Physical Therapy Today

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I went to PT this morning, and they did start me on some exercises, all for my arms. The first few were fairly easy, but then she had me pushing down with what seemed like more resistance than the others were set for. I stopped at the first set of ten on that one, instead of doing two sets of ten the way I had done all the others.

Then I moved to the pulley rope, which I’ve done before with other therapy, and it’s always fairly easy, unless you just can’t raise your arms. I had no trouble with that at all. Problems came when I stood up from that one, though.

I woke up this morning trembling more than usual, and getting into the cold car this morning just made it worse. And then I did all this new exercising on top of that. I guess everything just worked together to bring major big time tremors in my legs and arms, all at the same time. I was frozen in place, unable to move, because I was just not in control at the moment. The Aide immediately pulled a chair over for me, and I didn’t do any more exercises. They hovered over me for awhile, with me assuring them that I was OK, that it would ease off on its own, that there wasn’t anything they could do, and I really was OK.

After I convinced them that I was not going to fall, they moved me to the room where they do the ultrasound and heat therapy with the TENS machine, and everything went as usual. About half way through all that, the tremors settled down to just the usual quiver in my right arm and leg.

The only thing I can think of is that using the machine that was apparently set with too much resistance for me to handle just used up the dopamine I had available for a little while. It will be interesting to see if I can find anything to agree or disagree with my hypothesis.

It’s been a shaky afternoon, and I just gave in to my chocolate craving – that’s my way to deal with stress, as any chocoholic will tell you. And my neck is sore, but not painful, from the exercise. But at least I’m walking around about like usual – maybe a little shakier, but not much.

She told me I have 3 more visits before I have to see the Orthopedist again, so I need to make that appointment. I should have done it today, but I’m in one of those procrastinating moods today, and I just didn’t feel like doing it. These moods don’t make any sense, but I get into them every once in awhile. Things that happen like this morning seem to bring this apathy on, like everything is just too much trouble. It’s stupid, I know, but it’s just the way I get at times. I’ll snap out of it, just as the shakes finally stopped. Just takes a little time.

Tomorrow is Date Day, and it will be a better day. I’m sure of it!

Less Computer Time = Getting other things done!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 15

Well, I have pretty much stuck to my intention to stay away from places where PWP are describing their symptoms. I have visited the PLM site a few times, and even made a few comments, but I have been cautious about the type of posts I opened, to avoid reading about anything tremor related. I have not done any research on PD, either, other than to try to find a correlation between heavy steroid use with Parkinson’s. This was not for my benefit, but for one of my readers, who asked some interesting questions.

My neck continues to be very stiff and painful, but I can put up with it, knowing I will be getting help next week when I start Physical Therapy.

I am pretty much caught up with posting requests for help on the Plush Memories Lost Toys Search Service, and we are over the Christmas rush on eBay. I still need to put a new post on our Yesterday’s Memories blog, and there is always work to do on the BLOG VILLAGE TopList that I run.

So, I have been getting some much needed house clutter cleaning done, but there is plenty more that needs to be done. I would like to have the house straight for the New Year. At least it can start that way LOL.

We did have a great Christmas, seeing all of our family all at once, and enjoying being with our grandchildren. It looks like we actually managed to buy them some things they will enjoy, and that’s not easy to do when they hit those preteen and teen years. They all have birthdays right after Christmas, so we will be seeing them again real soon, too.

Hubby gave me a blender for Christmas, so now I can learn how to make Raw Foods Smoothies, something I have been wanting to try for some time now. Jackie, from The Vegan Diet, clued me into The Raw Food Coach, and since we eat a lot of raw foods, anyway, I have been learning as much as I can about what foods are the best for me. I have been doing a lot of research on the high anti-oxidant Super Foods, and we are gradually changing our diet to include lots of them daily.

We have had a lot of fun at our house of late with trying to get our very spoiled (neurotic) inside cat to accept our two outside cats as occasional inside visitors. They are too young to leave outside all night when it is freezing, so we bought a pet cage for them. They don’t mind being in it at all, which surprised us, but it sure makes going out of town easier. We keep our inside cat in the hall bathroom when we are gone, and now we can keep the outside cats protected, too. Our only problem is that Miss Queen Fluffy doesn’t like having them inside. There have been quite a few fights between Fluffy and Mr. Salt. Miss Pepper stays out of the rough stuff, as she has some kind of nerve damage to one of her hind legs. She is the main reason we decided to bring them in on cold nights and when we are out of town. Fluffy surprised us last night and behaved the whole time they were in the house. Maybe she’s finally adjusting to them, I hope.

One of my anonymous readers has given me a clue as to what my diagnosis might be, if it’s not Parkinson’s. So, I have started doing some research on Dystonia. Also, there was a new post today on PLM discussing Ataxia, and that sounds familiar, too. I already feel better, knowing that there are other conditions that my symptoms seem to fit. It makes me feel less like this is all going to turn out to be psychosomatic. I can’t bear the thought that my body has been going through all this due to an emotional problem. With other possibilities in sight, I am in a much better frame of mind than I was yesterday, thank goodness. So, Marion, the glass is looking more and more like it’s half full, again.

As always, I appreciate your prayers and concern, and love to hear from you, even if it’s just to say HI!

Went Off PD Meds Temporarily

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I had my last PD medicine around 3:00PM Friday, so I have been without now for about 48 hours. I don’t know how much of those meds are still in my system, but I suspect there’s not much left.

So, how am I doing? Well, my right foot particularly, and the left to some extent, are shaking some, particularly when I stand in one place for more than just a few seconds. The wobbling foot and knee make my whole body rock rhythmically. It’s nowhere near as bad as it looked in Dr. S’s office Wednesday, but I was very nervous then, so the exaggerated gait was not overly surprising.

My right hand takes a notion to tremble off and on all day long, but I can usually stop it temporarily by thinking about it. Usually, I just start to jerk somewhere else, when I get one tremor stopped by relaxing and concentrating on just that one area. The facial and tongue tics seem to be worse, too, with me off the PD meds. Generally, I see an increase in jerkiness that moves from place to place as I consciously try to stop it elsewhere.

We haven’t told anyone in the family about this possible change in diagnosis, and don’t intend to, until it has been confirmed, and hopefully, we have a name for what is wrong with me.

I am going back on my Zelepar and Requip at 3:00PM today, and will stay one them at least until all the holidays are over with, and I am dismissed from PT. I probably will try going without again in February, just to see how I am doing then.

I wrote once before that having a neurological disease is like being in a clinical trial of ONE. It becomes very difficult to manage all the possible variables, and come to any kind of conclusion about the level of disability and what improves or aggravates the symptoms.

Life Goes ON

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

My Physical Therapy office called yesterday, and the appointment is set for Jan.2, so that’s taken care of. I have been scouring the Internet, looking for some indication of the meaning of some of the neurological tests my Neuro did on me in his office the other day, but still not having any luck. I think I will end up calling his nurse, and see if she can help me understand what happened. We were both just in shock, I think, in his office, and I didn’t ask enough questions. Now I could kick myself for not asking dozens!!

Also, I am wondering if I should try to wean myself off of the meds he left me on, before I see the MDS in April. And I also need to ask if there are any tests that my Neuro should be scheduling before then, too. When I first went to Dr. S, he was less than pleased to see that the Peripheral Neuropathy tests I had already had were only on my legs. They did not test my arms. So it would seem logical to me to have that workup done again, but more thoroughly, sometime close to my appointment in April. Otherwise, I can just see it now. I’ll go in and talk to this fellow, walk, and get poked and prodded, and then he will order a bunch of tests, and I won’t see him again for another 4 months. This NOT KNOWING could last the better part of a year, if that’s the way it plays out.

I have been blessed with so many wonderful net friends showing their support and concern over all these mixed up feelings I am having. It’s humbling to know that all of you are out there, praying for me. With all that love coming my way, and God’s help, I am already beginning to ease out of the horrible funk this news put me in. I can choose to believe I have something worse than PD, or not. I choose NOT, doggonit!!

So, another Friday has rolled around. It feels a little different, with this uncertainty surrounding us, but we will find something enjoyable to do today, and life will go on. Our Christmas stocking gift hunt is finally ended, and it’s time to wrap the presents for the grandkids, and our children, too. I haven’t looked yet to see if there are any Estate Sales today, but I kind of doubt it. Who knows, we might go see another movie.

We enjoyed “Perfect Holiday” last week, as a light, entertaining, feel good movie, regardless of what the critics had to say about it. And we’ll probably end up seeing “Legion” today, even though the critics have panned it, too. Not every movie has to be Academy Award quality to be enjoyed, right? Although I am a little surprised that Will Smith allowed himself to be in a movie that was less than box office hit quality. From what I’ve read, it’s the Zombies that are so poorly done, not his performance. And there are some flaws with the premise of the story, too, which is what makes Science Fiction work as a genre. Once you have decided to “believe” in a certain situation, the rest of the story must stay true to that premise. From what the critics say, this one does not, and that’s a pity. But, flaws and all, I am sure I will enjoy it, as I really like his acting, and I am a Science Fiction buff from way back.

So our lives move along, and I will try to let go of these nagging thoughts, and look on the bright side of it all. I look forward to spending time with our family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and not think beyond that for now. Here’s wishing you all a very happy Christmas time with your families, too!

This is a Hard Post to Write

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 11

I saw my Neurologist yesterday, and it turns out I did have good reason to be apprehensive about the appointment.

First of all, he agreed that I did not have any business having the epidurals on my cervical vertebrae. So, I called my Orthopedist to let them know that they could schedule the Physical Therapy, but not the epidurals. They called back later, and have already faxed the prescription to the PT I used last time, which is close to home. So, hopefully, I will be getting some relief from the neck pain and stiffness soon. Holidays, of course, will be in the way of a regular schedule, so who knows when I will actually start the sessions. It could easily be the beginning of next year.

He also took me off of the Levadopa/Carbidopa plus Lodosyn meds that the ER doc had added to my treatment, since it didn’t seem to be helping much at all. Taking too much of these meds can cause dyskinesia, which is involuntary movements. That may be why I had such an odd tremor develop of late, plus all the facial and tongue tics I have been experiencing.

But the news from the exam that has me so upset right now is that he is no longer sure I have Parkinson’s. He watched me walk, and I was so nervous by then that he got to see me at my worst. Both legs bobbing up and down like I was trying to walk across the floor of one of those carnival blow up bounce machines, and having to hold out my arms to the sides to keep my balance. Turning around and coming back towards him was just as bad. He had me take off my socks and shoes, and he did all the usual hitting with the hammer. He scraped the bottom of each foot, and also suddenly pushed both feet straight up several times, in a slapping kind of motion.

I have had the foot scrape thing done many times before, and I know what that was testing me for – the Babinski effect. That’s a test I failed some years ago when I was seeing a different Neurologist for migraine headaches. As far as I know I have not failed it since then. It has to do with the way your toes curl or straighten out when a hard object is scraped from the heel towards the toes. The normal reflex is to curl the toes inward. If the toes spread out, with the big toe stretching upward, it’s a sign of a lower extremity nerve problem. I don’t know if I passed it this time or not. He didn’t say, and I was too upset to ask. I have tried to look up what the sudden slapping of my feet upward meant, as I have never had that done to me before, but I haven’t been able to come up with the right search terms yet to find out what that was all about. He did move my arms around, while I kept them relaxed, and said he did not feel any cog wheeling. That’s something he would expect to find if I had Parkinson’s, and he has said in the past that he did feel it. It has something to do with the tremors, but that’s about all I know about cog wheeling.

They have made an appointment for me with the Chair of the Neurology Department at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. He is the Movement Disorder Specialist in this area, and is supposed to be my best chance of finding out what is wrong with me. Parkinson’s effects people in so many different ways, it may yet turn out to be the PD that my Neuro had initially diagnosed.

But for now, he has listed my diagnosis as the Peripheral Neuropathy plus Gait Debility. I’m back to that “not knowing” stage, and it is extremely upsetting for me, and for my dear sweet hubby. Of course, as you might expect with the chair of the department, I can’t get an appointment until the end of April. That’s going to be a long, long wait that is not going to be easy.

I felt such relief when my Neuro put a name to what was happening to me – even if it was that I had Parkinson’s. Now I am in limbo again, and I hate it.

Hubby has asked that I stop reading and researching about Parkinson’s for awhile, just to be sure that I have not been subconsciously absorbing the symptoms that I was reading about. That’s a fair request, so I have said a temporary goodbye to my Parkie friends on PatientsLikeMe, and will not be doing any PD research for awhile. I am going to continue to try to find out more about Peripheral Neuropathy, though, because there is no doubt that I have that. Unlike Parkinson’s, there are definitive tests for PN, which I most definitely have.

I don’t know how to adequately explain how I am feeling about all this right now. It’s almost as if I found out I was adopted, or something like that. It’s like my identity has been ripped to shreds, if that makes sense. I have developed some really close friendships with some wonderful PWP over the last year. Now, with one sentence, my Neuro has put the nature of that relationship in limbo.

This NOT KNOWING stage I am in again is very hard to deal with. I am vacillating between being scared of something worse than Parkinson’s, and being relieved that it could be something less progressive in nature than PD.

God is forever trying to teach me patience, and reliance on Him, rather than my own abilities. Looks like He is working on that big time right now. We haven’t actually said anything out loud, but I think hubby and I are going to keep this turn of events to ourselves for now. I can’t see any good reason to add this uncertainty to our children’s lives. They have enough to worry about on their own. So, I will pour out my feelings here on my blog, since no one who knows me personally ever reads it.