Tag Archives: hope

Now THAT Was a Doctor Appointment!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

I can’t praise my newest doctor enough. I had asked my Neurologist several months ago for a referral to a Nutritionist, since none of my doctors seemed willing or able to give direction to my own research on supplements and cofactors. Most Nutritionists offices I’ve found on the internet appear to be glorified weight-loss clinics, but this one is different. I’m sure that’s why I had to wait so long for the appointment.

I finally had the appointment this week, and the dialogue with the doctor lasted TWO HOURS!! It was the most thorough question and answer period with a doctor I have ever had in my life. He asked many questions about lifestyle, medical history of mine and my family, my sleeping habits, spiritual values, as well as the obvious questions about my current eating habits.

He asked lots of questions about how my Mitochondrial Myopathy presents, how it is inherited, and all the issues I’ve had over the years that were misdiagnosed, but were obviously early manifestations of this disease.

He spent time explaining his approach to achieving maximum nutrition. Unlike my desperate visit to the herbalist, there was absolutely nothing mumbo jumbo in his philosophy, but he still obviously embraces much of the holistic approach to medicine.

For the first time since my diagnosis, I have now had a comprehensive blood panel testing for current levels of every imaginable vitamin and mineral, as well as more standard blood panel tests. He’s also re-tested my heavy metal levels, as we live very near an EPA toxic site that is still being monitored. The phlebotomist took 14 tubes of blood!!

I see him again in two weeks, and we’re looking forward to it. I am to keep a food log for the 7 days prior to the appointment.

In the meantime, he wants me to up my protein intake – and he made specific suggestions about what to eat more of, based on foods I had already indicated that I liked and ate. And he wants me to do chair yoga and meditation daily, practices I have previously only dabbled with.

But the most wonderful and hopeful part of this office visit was his request that I provide him with information, so he could do research on his own about Mitochondrial Myopathy!! I do carry with me in my “medical bag” a card from Mito Action that outlines information for clinicians, and of course that has their url on it. He was very pleased to get that as a start, and I’ll be taking a list with us, and lots of printouts, when we see him again.

For the first time in a long time – we feel HOPE!

4 Days of Full Lamotrigine Dose

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

I’ve been on the Lamotrigine morning and afternoon 25mg dose for 4 days now, and only the first morning caused me any problems. I went back to sleep after breakfast on that first morning I took a morning dose, and I slept almost 3 hours. That is an extremely unusual thing for me to do. But I haven’t been sleepy since then. It may be helping a little bit, but nothing spectacular. I’m still jerking pretty badly if I’m under even the least amount of stress, which seems to be a lot of late.

One of my triggers seems to be getting in any kind of a crowd, so Church is always very stressful for me. I’m very self conscious about the jerking, and I feel bad for the people who sit behind me, as it must be very distracting.

But I’m not zonked on it, as I was when the Neurontin dose was increased. That’s a good thing. And I know I’m on the smallest dose size the Lamotrigine comes in, so there may be some room for adjustment to lessen the jerks a little bit more. I’m hoping that’s the way it will work out, without putting me in a daze the way the Neurontin did.

I don’t think I’ve ever really explained what the Primidone and Lamotrigine prescriptions are for. They are actually used as anti-seizure meds, and the Lamotrigine can be used with Bipolar Disorders and Depression disorders. The Clonazepam the MDS tried me on first, as well as the Neurontin, were also meds used for seizures and depressive disorders. (Which I thought made it odd that they depressed me!) So it’s kind of like taking a pig in the poke for medicine.

Their use for Essential Myoclonus is considered an off-label use, and from everything I’ve been able to read, the medical profession really doesn’t understand how these meds work in the brain. Evidently when they work properly they calm down whatever erratic electrical signal there is that’s coming from my brain that sets off these muscle spasms.

This is where having a Neurologist I trust is so very important, and a pharmacist who watches over every medicine I take, prescription as well as over the counter. I wouldn’t think of buying some of my prescriptions at one pharmacy and others somewhere else. It’s just too dangerous for me.

So I’m trying hard to be hopeful that my Neuro will find a good balance on my medicines and get me back to where I’m not jerking so much. And I’m fighting the blues, although I certainly haven’t won that battle yet.

I’ve Been OFF the Ulcer Antibiotics for a Week Now

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

Well, I’ve been off of the PrevPak high powered antibiotics for my ulcerated lower stomach now for a week, and I am not feeling good at all. I had hoped once the meds were out of my system that my energy level would pick back up. But my stomach still feels heavy and sometimes there’s the same dull pain. I just don’t feel good. Nothing I can really describe … one of those you know it when you see it kind of things. I’ll keep on eating a little something with each dose of pills, and I’ll be calling the Gastro this next week for sure.

We had a very sad occasion at our church this week. Our Minister of Music passed away from kidney complications after his second heart transplant surgery. We did not go to the funeral, which was huge. He was well known all over the state from long time service in many churches and choir functions. I just was not up to the crowd. And I did not go to Sunday School today either. Our class is about half choir members, and I knew they would be so upset. I can’t handle my emotions at all any more, and it makes me jerk and shake when I get upset. So hubby came back and got me for church. It was a beautiful worship service, but as the Pastor said – Everyone was in a fragile state right now. I’ve never been in a church where a staff member died. It was almost like a continuation of the funeral service in a way, except more joyful. After all, we know he is well and happy now, although people close to him personally still grieve for his loss here on earth.

It does help to put my aches and pains into perspective, though. So I feel yucky. I can still get up and move around the house easily enough, and I can work on the computer as much as I like. I enjoy helping people on the Lost Toys Search Service, and it’s fun to get sales from our website and on eBay. I enjoy hearing from our children and grandchildren, and I have the most wonderful hubby any woman could ask for.

I am truly blessed by God, and I can’t thank HIM enough for all the blessings he has given me over my lifetime.

Grieving for a PLM Friend Just Diagnosed with MSA

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

Everyone on the PatientsLikeMe forum is grieving along with one of our dear Parkie friends, btrflynana, who has just had her diagnosis changed to MSA.

Multiple System Atrophy is the big gun version of Parkinson’s like disorders, and does not have a good prognosis at all. Most people only live about 9 or 10 years after diagnosis, and much of that time is in severely compromised health. I have been so hoping that she would have good news, as I did when my diagnosis was changed, but that is not to be.

She has a wonderfully sweet nature, and wrote a sad and yet determined post about the new diagnosis this morning. All her family are there to help her through this horrible grieving time, and her online friends are hurting for her and grieving for her, too.

My heart goes out to her and to her family.

“Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak O LORD. Heal me; for my bones are vexed.”
Psalms 6:2 KJV

Amen and Amen.

GREAT NEWS!!! – My New Diagnosis Is ESSENTIAL MYOCLONUS!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 11

I finally got to talk to a nurse on Dr. Watt’s staff today, and I now have an official diagnosis that I can take to insurance companies. I do not have Parkinson’s, nor anything in the Parkinson’s Family. I have what is called Essential Myoclonus. It is not a progressive disease, which is the best news of all.

They do not know what causes it, but the Primidone is doing a remarkable job of controlling my movements. So I look forward to continued improvement and taking my life back! I asked if it would be OK to add an extra half tablet in the mornings, because the dose wears off in the afternoons, particularly if I am more physically active or stressed. She gave me the usual precautions about not using it if I became overly drowsy, be careful about driving, etc., but they are leaving the timing and use of the half tablet up to me. I am to start it in the mornings and then move closer to lunch if I want to try it there after a week or so.

I have been telling everyone about how wonderful I have been feeling since I went on the Primidone and how truly blessed by God I feel. I have strong emotional ties to lots of online Parkie friends, and I would only wish that they could have such good news from their doctors very soon. I guess I’m going to have to add another section for research about Myoclonus to my sidebar now, and come up with a better name for this blog. I have been very active in the Parkinson’s PatientLikeMe forum, but I imagine I will be spending more time in the Essential Myoclonus section of WeMove.com now.

I lived in their world for almost three years, so I have a perspective into what it is like to have Parkinson’s that most people can never have, unless they actually have the disease or are very close to someone with it. That is a valuable perspective that I do not want to squander. I’m not sure how God can use me in regards to this, but I’m sure in His good time it will become apparent.

I have tried to chronicle my journey from the very first days of the initial diagnosis of Parkinson’s, through all the struggles I had with my digestive system fighting against the PD meds, to modifying my lifestyle to keep me safe, to the onset of tremors that soon turned into horrible shaking. I’ve tried to present an accurate picture of what was happening to me emotionally, as well as physically.

I am proud of this blog and hope that it will continue to be helpful to those who read it. May God use me and this blog to good purpose.

No Mouth Twitch So Far Today

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by  

No mouth twitch so far today!!

I moved the Primidone dose last night to eight instead of seven, in an effort to maximize the amount I would have in my bloodstream during the day. It pretty much wore off by about 6:00 last night, so that’s not bad at all.

I plan to take it tonight at 9:00PM. I took the morning dose at 7:00AM and have not had any mouth twitching so far. My gait is slow but steady, my hand and foot are not shaking, and my shoulder is not jerking.

I have emailed two members of PatientsLikeMe who are also on Primidone to get their experience with it, but I have not had time this morning to do any other research about this medicine.

I’ve been busy with our Lost Toy Search Service and our own toy catalog, and I am trying hard to make myself get off the computer in the evenings. I’ve been watching TV and using the computer at the same time for so long it seems strange to just watch the show. I am finding the long strings of commercials particularly irritating, though, as that’s when I normally get something done on the computer. LOL!

I cannot express how wonderful the last few days have been, and I am so thankful to God for providing doctors and researchers with the skills and experience to find something that is helping me.

I filled out a new PDRS, which allows me to rank my current condition on a list of various Parkinson’s symptoms. Up until this newest score, I was ranging around 25. The highest score of 32 was in January of 2006, when I was finally diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, and when I could barely walk at all, even with a walker. My score now is SEVEN!!! I’m sure I ranked some of the answers on the optimistic side when I scored it, but I am feeling so great … who cares!!!

Misery Loves Doesn’t Love Company

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 12

I am so counting the days until my appointment next week! The depression level I am feeling is so pervasive that I am not fit to be around right now. Hubby is doing what he can to leave me alone and not trigger another crying spell. Or worse, make me mad. We had an actual verbal fight last week, which is most unusual for us.

I knew when I worked in the basement while he was gone that he would be livid when he found out, but I did it anyway. I just needed to be “normal” for a little while so badly that I didn’t care that it would cause a fight. He won’t let me go down in the basement, because he is afraid I will fall. We do have a horrible mess down there, that needs cleaning out terribly, and I am much more impatient about it than he is.

I hate depending on someone else to get something done that I should be able to do myself. I hate being sick. I hate shaking. I hate being off balance. I hate being seen in public jerking all over the place. I hate using the cane and looking like each step is going to be my last. I hate looking old. I hate not being able to do any work in the yard long enough to accomplish anything.

But most of all I hate this horrible feeling that they are not going to find anything physically wrong with me, and that I am going to end up on some psychiatrist’s couch or on mind altering drugs. This Clonazepam is bad enough. I looked up the side effects, and depression and loss of balance are right there in black and white. I’m taking a med to stop some of the very things it will give me – doesn’t make much sense does it. I still have the strong mouth tics when I am the least bit upset, and my face is definitely beginning to contort, with right eyebrow high, left eyelid drooping over the eye, and mouth pulled to the left. It looks like I have had a stroke, and can’t control the left side of my face, but it’s actually quite the opposite, the muscles on the left pull it that way.

I did finally recuperate from the left leg weakness and pain left over from the EEG test, but my nerves have yet to settle back down from the super loud MRI last week. I’m crying at almost everything right now, and can’t stand noise at all. The loud TV commercials are bothering me so badly that hubby has started hitting the mute button when they come on. Last Sunday, for some strange reason, the young fellow who runs our sanctuary sound system had some of “his” kind of religious music piping in the auditorium before church. As far as I know that has never happened before. People were talking louder than usual to be heard over the extra noise. I sat there for a few minutes, and then told hubby we had to leave. I just couldn’t take it. So, we were some of the first folks at our favorite Chinese restaurant last Sunday. I went to church that night, and it was fine. But that morning was horrible.

I am not sleeping as well as I was, either. Some nights have been good, but there have been a few of the kind I used to have, where I am up at 3 or 4 in the morning. I am not using the TAP, as I just don’t think I can deal with it right now. Somehow I just have to make it through until next Wednesday.

I’ve completely rearranged one of the bedrooms we keep part of our plush lovies stock in, and I have worked some in the yard, trying to get the area ready to plant grass where I worked on the lasagna compost all winter long. I’m trying very hard to stay busy and focused on something besides me, but it ain’t workin’!!

Wow! That was quite a rant, even for me!! But it felt good to put it down on paper and acknowledge it. It’s real, and I’m not exaggerating. Hopefully, I will be able to look back on this post soon and be thankful it is all over. I always cling to hope, even in my darkest despairing times. God is good. AMEN!

Less Computer Time = Getting other things done!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 15

Well, I have pretty much stuck to my intention to stay away from places where PWP are describing their symptoms. I have visited the PLM site a few times, and even made a few comments, but I have been cautious about the type of posts I opened, to avoid reading about anything tremor related. I have not done any research on PD, either, other than to try to find a correlation between heavy steroid use with Parkinson’s. This was not for my benefit, but for one of my readers, who asked some interesting questions.

My neck continues to be very stiff and painful, but I can put up with it, knowing I will be getting help next week when I start Physical Therapy.

I am pretty much caught up with posting requests for help on the Plush Memories Lost Toys Search Service, and we are over the Christmas rush on eBay. I still need to put a new post on our Yesterday’s Memories blog, and there is always work to do on the BLOG VILLAGE TopList that I run.

So, I have been getting some much needed house clutter cleaning done, but there is plenty more that needs to be done. I would like to have the house straight for the New Year. At least it can start that way LOL.

We did have a great Christmas, seeing all of our family all at once, and enjoying being with our grandchildren. It looks like we actually managed to buy them some things they will enjoy, and that’s not easy to do when they hit those preteen and teen years. They all have birthdays right after Christmas, so we will be seeing them again real soon, too.

Hubby gave me a blender for Christmas, so now I can learn how to make Raw Foods Smoothies, something I have been wanting to try for some time now. Jackie, from The Vegan Diet, clued me into The Raw Food Coach, and since we eat a lot of raw foods, anyway, I have been learning as much as I can about what foods are the best for me. I have been doing a lot of research on the high anti-oxidant Super Foods, and we are gradually changing our diet to include lots of them daily.

We have had a lot of fun at our house of late with trying to get our very spoiled (neurotic) inside cat to accept our two outside cats as occasional inside visitors. They are too young to leave outside all night when it is freezing, so we bought a pet cage for them. They don’t mind being in it at all, which surprised us, but it sure makes going out of town easier. We keep our inside cat in the hall bathroom when we are gone, and now we can keep the outside cats protected, too. Our only problem is that Miss Queen Fluffy doesn’t like having them inside. There have been quite a few fights between Fluffy and Mr. Salt. Miss Pepper stays out of the rough stuff, as she has some kind of nerve damage to one of her hind legs. She is the main reason we decided to bring them in on cold nights and when we are out of town. Fluffy surprised us last night and behaved the whole time they were in the house. Maybe she’s finally adjusting to them, I hope.

One of my anonymous readers has given me a clue as to what my diagnosis might be, if it’s not Parkinson’s. So, I have started doing some research on Dystonia. Also, there was a new post today on PLM discussing Ataxia, and that sounds familiar, too. I already feel better, knowing that there are other conditions that my symptoms seem to fit. It makes me feel less like this is all going to turn out to be psychosomatic. I can’t bear the thought that my body has been going through all this due to an emotional problem. With other possibilities in sight, I am in a much better frame of mind than I was yesterday, thank goodness. So, Marion, the glass is looking more and more like it’s half full, again.

As always, I appreciate your prayers and concern, and love to hear from you, even if it’s just to say HI!

Life Goes ON

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

My Physical Therapy office called yesterday, and the appointment is set for Jan.2, so that’s taken care of. I have been scouring the Internet, looking for some indication of the meaning of some of the neurological tests my Neuro did on me in his office the other day, but still not having any luck. I think I will end up calling his nurse, and see if she can help me understand what happened. We were both just in shock, I think, in his office, and I didn’t ask enough questions. Now I could kick myself for not asking dozens!!

Also, I am wondering if I should try to wean myself off of the meds he left me on, before I see the MDS in April. And I also need to ask if there are any tests that my Neuro should be scheduling before then, too. When I first went to Dr. S, he was less than pleased to see that the Peripheral Neuropathy tests I had already had were only on my legs. They did not test my arms. So it would seem logical to me to have that workup done again, but more thoroughly, sometime close to my appointment in April. Otherwise, I can just see it now. I’ll go in and talk to this fellow, walk, and get poked and prodded, and then he will order a bunch of tests, and I won’t see him again for another 4 months. This NOT KNOWING could last the better part of a year, if that’s the way it plays out.

I have been blessed with so many wonderful net friends showing their support and concern over all these mixed up feelings I am having. It’s humbling to know that all of you are out there, praying for me. With all that love coming my way, and God’s help, I am already beginning to ease out of the horrible funk this news put me in. I can choose to believe I have something worse than PD, or not. I choose NOT, doggonit!!

So, another Friday has rolled around. It feels a little different, with this uncertainty surrounding us, but we will find something enjoyable to do today, and life will go on. Our Christmas stocking gift hunt is finally ended, and it’s time to wrap the presents for the grandkids, and our children, too. I haven’t looked yet to see if there are any Estate Sales today, but I kind of doubt it. Who knows, we might go see another movie.

We enjoyed “Perfect Holiday” last week, as a light, entertaining, feel good movie, regardless of what the critics had to say about it. And we’ll probably end up seeing “Legion” today, even though the critics have panned it, too. Not every movie has to be Academy Award quality to be enjoyed, right? Although I am a little surprised that Will Smith allowed himself to be in a movie that was less than box office hit quality. From what I’ve read, it’s the Zombies that are so poorly done, not his performance. And there are some flaws with the premise of the story, too, which is what makes Science Fiction work as a genre. Once you have decided to “believe” in a certain situation, the rest of the story must stay true to that premise. From what the critics say, this one does not, and that’s a pity. But, flaws and all, I am sure I will enjoy it, as I really like his acting, and I am a Science Fiction buff from way back.

So our lives move along, and I will try to let go of these nagging thoughts, and look on the bright side of it all. I look forward to spending time with our family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and not think beyond that for now. Here’s wishing you all a very happy Christmas time with your families, too!

Standing MRI Tomorrow / Praying for Friends

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by  

Hubby went off yesterday morning to his stint on Jury Duty, only to be sent back home. All the cases for this week had been handled through plea bargains, and there were no cases!! He had to call back last night to see if anything had changed, and they dismissed all the jurors!!

So, I got busy making arrangements to have my MRI done, and it is scheduled for tomorrow. I’m going to call my Neurologist’s office today and see if they have any suggestions, because it dawned on me that with this standing MRI, I would need to be still for quite awhile. That was not a problem with the knee MRI I had done at this same place. I was not having foot and leg tremors then, but I am now.

It just seems like this PD manages to worm its way into every single thing I try to do.

I shouldn’t be whining, though, as I am so much better off than some of my Parkie friends are. It grieves me, for their sakes, to read of all the pain and problems that PD is causing some wonderful people that I care deeply about on the PLM forum and on the PD blogs I keep up with. I keep them in the forefront of my prayers daily.

Hubby and I are also extremely concerned about a young teen aged, very gifted and sweet boy from our church, who is seriously ill. He went to the doctor Friday, but the doctor ran all kinds of tests and could not find anything to explain how sick he felt, and sent him back home.

Saturday he was in the hospital with pneumonia. Monday, he was put in ICU, and yesterday he was airlifted to the ICU at Children’s Hospital in Birmingham.

This single mom has a Downs Syndrome child, as well, so attending to the needs of both of them must be putting all kinds of extra strain on her during this scary time. Thankfully, she has family living nearby who can help her out. We spent a few minutes with him in the ICU yesterday, only to come home and find out about the airlift. I talked to her for just a moment or two in the ICU waiting room at Children’s last night, and she sounded OK, but I imagine she is faking a lot of that calm.

So, I feel very small and insignificant at times like this, with my petty little problems. All we can do is keep them in our prayers, and offer to help in any way we can.