Tag Archives: insurance

GREAT NEWS!!! – My New Diagnosis Is ESSENTIAL MYOCLONUS!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 11

I finally got to talk to a nurse on Dr. Watt’s staff today, and I now have an official diagnosis that I can take to insurance companies. I do not have Parkinson’s, nor anything in the Parkinson’s Family. I have what is called Essential Myoclonus. It is not a progressive disease, which is the best news of all.

They do not know what causes it, but the Primidone is doing a remarkable job of controlling my movements. So I look forward to continued improvement and taking my life back! I asked if it would be OK to add an extra half tablet in the mornings, because the dose wears off in the afternoons, particularly if I am more physically active or stressed. She gave me the usual precautions about not using it if I became overly drowsy, be careful about driving, etc., but they are leaving the timing and use of the half tablet up to me. I am to start it in the mornings and then move closer to lunch if I want to try it there after a week or so.

I have been telling everyone about how wonderful I have been feeling since I went on the Primidone and how truly blessed by God I feel. I have strong emotional ties to lots of online Parkie friends, and I would only wish that they could have such good news from their doctors very soon. I guess I’m going to have to add another section for research about Myoclonus to my sidebar now, and come up with a better name for this blog. I have been very active in the Parkinson’s PatientLikeMe forum, but I imagine I will be spending more time in the Essential Myoclonus section of WeMove.com now.

I lived in their world for almost three years, so I have a perspective into what it is like to have Parkinson’s that most people can never have, unless they actually have the disease or are very close to someone with it. That is a valuable perspective that I do not want to squander. I’m not sure how God can use me in regards to this, but I’m sure in His good time it will become apparent.

I have tried to chronicle my journey from the very first days of the initial diagnosis of Parkinson’s, through all the struggles I had with my digestive system fighting against the PD meds, to modifying my lifestyle to keep me safe, to the onset of tremors that soon turned into horrible shaking. I’ve tried to present an accurate picture of what was happening to me emotionally, as well as physically.

I am proud of this blog and hope that it will continue to be helpful to those who read it. May God use me and this blog to good purpose.

Been to the Physiatrist and I’m Still Very Busy

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 9

I saw the Physiatrist yesterday. He’s the doctor who had to review my records before he would agree to even see me. As it turns out, oddly enough, he is the person who did my original EMG and Nerve Velocity Tests.

I was extremely pleased that he did a complete checkup, rather than just asking about my neck. He went through a complete neurological exam, but didn’t venture much as to what he thought was wrong, other than to say Dr. Watts was the one who would be able to say what is going on. He did say he was sure I had some kind of Movement Disorder, but he didn’t think it was Parkinson’s, either.

He went over some options for the neck pain that has persisted since November. We agreed to try the least possible first, particularly since I will see Dr. Watts in less than three weeks. It’s hard to imagine that something I’ve waited so long for is almost here! Anyway, the Physiatrist gave me a prescription for Lidoderm patches that I cut and apply to the trigger points of this pain. They are basically Novacaine that goes through the skin to the muscle. He felt like I would not have any stomach problems by doing it that way.

I put half on the top of my shoulder near the neck and the other half just below the shoulder blade, next to the spine. Those are the spots that really scream if I sit or stand unsupported for very long. Even the time to wash a full sink of dishes or eat a meal at the table is usually enough to set it off, and sitting on the church pews has been very uncomfortable.

I felt a little bit light headed soon after putting the patch on, but that could have been for any number of reasons, as I had not eaten breakfast yet. I am hurting now, but maybe not as bad as usual. Obviously, one day’s use can’t calm down this spasm, so I will just have to see how I do. The prescription is for 3 months worth, and thank goodness I have Medicare and good insurance, as it was listed at over $500!

I’ve been going around in circles lately trying to get a whole lot of things accomplished all at once, and not getting much finished at all. We have started on our taxes, but there are some parts that I must work on before the exact number can go in the form. I’ve been doing them with software for years, but this time my hubby sat down next to me and we went over each part together. That helped me stay calm, plus he needs to know how it’s done.

I’m also trying really hard to get as many of our toys in our online catalog as I possibly can, and I have run into several road blocks I had not anticipated. I had to learn how to use a Shopping Cart program, upload and download files to Google and our ISP to make a searchable data base, and I have been driven half crazy trying to get the catalog to show up properly in Google Base. OK, I know if you are not using the programs yourself that was just a bunch of gobbledygook – but they were very confusing to me, too, and I am definitely not learning new things as quickly as I once did.

I’ve had printer problems and had to buy a new one yesterday, so I couldn’t mail out some orders today, because I hadn’t figured out how to set up the network part of it. That actually worked pretty well, once I did understand the directions, and it even has an answering machine and fax included in it! I feel like I have my own home office now.

Our Search Service is keeping me extremely busy, too, and we have made a few sales from it, as well as helping several very happy parents find the lovie they needed, whether we made the sale or someone else did. I am pretty much caught up with answering the initial request, but I am miserably behind at getting the ones I could not find turned into blog posts.

I feel bad about that, as some of these parents sound so desperate, but hubby is still computer phobic, and that leaves this part of the business entirely up to me. He’s great at scouring the yard sales and thrift stores several times a week when he goes out on his own, and we thoroughly enjoy our Friday Date Day, and he helps a lot with the packing. He takes everything to the Post Office, too, and he has a lot of input about how to do the business side of selling. He just doesn’t want anything to do with the computer part.

Well, enough about all that. It just goes to show that I am staying busy with lots of different parts of my life – and our messy house proves it. Something had to give – so…..

Hopefully it won’t be so long before I post again.

Re-Testing Peripheral Neuropathy Monday

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by  

I see the MDS specialist the first week of April, so it seemed like a good idea to ask for a Neuropathy test before I see him. When I first saw my Neurologist, it was at the suggestion of my Orthopedist, who had concluded that my super labored walking was not caused by lumbar disk pressure.

He sent me to Lakeshore to have the Nerve Conduction Velocity Test, which uses patches like those they stick on the chest to check for heart problems. They pass an electric current and check to see how long it takes the message to register between the patches. It’s uncomfortable at the time, but not really too bad. The other test is called Electromyography. That’s the one where they poke electrodes the size of needles in your muscles, and it is supposed to show how well the muscles respond when the nerve is stimulated. That test is not at all comfortable. I actually had little pin prick size blood spots all over my legs when that one was over.

Anyway, the results showed definite Axonal Peripheral Neuropathy, mostly in my right leg. Because I was having trouble walking, and the test order came as a result of my Ortho dealing with my back and legs, he did not order the test to be done on my arms as well.

My Neuro was not at all happy that he did not have results for my arms as well as my legs, but he proceeded with the info he had, as my insurance would not likely have paid for a repeat test so soon.

So, I talked to his nurse a couple of days ago, and I’m scheduled to have the complete PN test battery Monday, at my “suggestion” – translate that as strong urging. This test is very uncomfortable, but it seems to me I need to get any tests done now, not wait and “waste” the visit with this very hard to see Head of Neurology at UAB.

I’m still experimenting with any variables I can think of. so, for the last four days I have not used the TAP dental device, which is to control my mild Sleep Apnea. The mouth tics started about the same time I started using the TAP, and I’m trying to be sure that this off and on again mouth twitching I’ve been doing is not being aggravated by the mouthpiece. Surprisingly, I’m still sleeping 7 or 8 hours a night, even without it. I think it did break me of the mouth breathing habit, which may be the cause of the relaxed jaw that was allowing my throat to close up during sleep.

I have noticed a definite correlation between the mouth twitches or tics and how stressed or tired I am. So they get worse as the day goes on. If I stop to think about them, I can stop them momentarily, but it’s as if my mouth is determined to move, no matter what I do, and it soon starts back up again.

I figure I’ll make sure Monday that there aren’t any other tests I should have done, or repeat, before seeing Dr. Watts at UAB. I have to call his office to change my insurance information to show that Medicare is my Primary insurance now, as this is the month I turn 65. So I will talk to his nurse and see if they suggest any other tests. I have learned to be proactive in such situations. It amazes me that doctor’s offices don’t initiate this kind of pre-visit planning, but they don’t.

By way of contrast, when we made an appointment with a financial counselor to help us with investing my inheritance, we received a huge packet of papers to fill out and a long list of documents to bring with us for our first meeting. That’s the way it should be with doctors, in my opinion.

So, I will do what I can to document everything and have everything ready for this crucial visit. I can’t even talk to someone about Long Term Care insurance, or anything insurance related, until I have a diagnosis. No insurance company in their right mind would take me on as a customer right now.

Tax Time is looming, and that’s one thing I am dreading doing, but I can’t put it off much longer. Oh, did you know that people who file an extension will NOT receive this stimulus package $300 thingy they all keep talking about? I have always filed on time, but I know some people habitually delay it, and might need to know that.

I continue to work to get our inventory of plush lovies online, and we have managed to help several families get replacements for lost toys lately, which is extremely satisfying. I’m also helping to beta test a new Mood community on Patients Like Me, and finding the charting of my own moods to be interesting.

I may be twitching, but I am in a good mood today, and that’s a great way to end this post.

Twitching Along ….

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 4

We went on our usual Date Day today and visited three Estate Sales. Two were complete duds, but the last one was fun. It was an old country house chock full of a lifetime of collecting all kinds of odds and ends. We both enjoyed ourselves there, and then we stopped by our usual Thrift Store haunts in that area and found enough plush lovies to more than make the day break even. It’s fun having a hobby that pays for itself, plus helps other people, too.

We had our second meeting yesterday with our new Financial Adviser, in the process of deciding how to best protect our future and be sure there is money in place to take care of our needs. Our daughters know that we do not want to go to a Nursing Home, but realistically we can’t assume they will be in a position to keep one or both of us at home, the way we did our parents. That’s way too much a burden to blithely assume someone else will tackle. That means considering Long Term Care Insurance and putting money aside to pay for in home care if at all possible. We’ve paid out enough over the last ten years to know what is involved, and it’s certainly not cheap.

He went over several different options with us, and I was having a really hard time following the differences, pros, cons, etc. So was hubby. We asked lots of questions, some several times, and he patiently went over each concern. We left with several brochures, still not sure of what we need to do. We’ll see him again next week, after he’s had time to pursue the options we were most interested in. There will be a Long Term Care expert at our next meeting, too.

We won’t be able to settle some arrangements until I have a diagnosis. After all, what new insurance company would insure me for anything when my own doctor can’t say what is wrong with me! So, for now I am stuck with the insurance I already have, and we can only do the research for more appropriate kinds.

Did I say stress makes my twitches and tremors worse? Yep, you guessed it. By the time we left I was grimacing and shaking like I was keeping time to some peppy music. Hubby even asked me if I was doing my hand on purpose, because it really did look like I was in tempo with the CD. But no, it was my body doing its own little dance duet. I “cured” the nerves the way I always do …CHOCOLATE!!! Hubby knows what to do, so we stopped and I gorged on brownies. Better than any tranquilizer I have ever used, as there is no spaced out feeling afterwards. 😉

Insurance Has APPROVED My Dental Appliance!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 8

I knew I was having a good day yesterday! When we came home from our Date Day, I had a lovely letter waiting for me, stating that the TAP Dental Appliance has been approved by my insurance for the treatment of my Sleep Apnea. I immediately called them to find out how to get my money back, as I had to pay my dentist for it up front. They are sending me the forms to take care of this. Whooopiieeeee!! I had anticipated some trouble with them agreeing that it was eligible, so that’s something else I can cross off my list.

My neck is still very uncomfortable, but I made myself work on the compost heap this morning. I can’t afford to give in to it, or I’ll find myself able to do less and less.

I actually slept until my first medicine alarm went off this morning at 5:00AM! EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP!!! That’s the first time that has happened. I’m still waking up quite a bit in the night, but unlike before, I am able to drift back to sleep, even after I’ve been up to use the bathroom.

We ate at on of our favorite Mexican restaurants yesterday for lunch, but I was a good girl and got the Huevos Rancheros, which is nothing but sunny side up eggs with sauce on top. I scrape the sauce over to the side, eat the Spanish rice and the eggs, and just taste the refried beans. I did get a side order of the guacamole, which I really enjoy and finished off a bunch of the tostados they bring. I did NOT have the woozy feeling after lunch. So I’m pretty sure it’s not protein that sets it off. It may be fat, though. I’ve basically been avoiding eating beef or pork for lunch. Most of the week we had the fake crab meat in a spinach and cabbage salad, and that does not cause the funny feeling, either.

I’m still having real problems with tremors and walking is not as easy, as I have this constant feeling of walking on Jello, because my legs are shaking the whole time I am walking. I’m using the cane just about any time we leave the house now, except for church. I’m trying to hold off using it there, because I get asked too many questions about how I’m doing. It makes me self conscious. I have started taking a lap robe to church, though, as I have come to realize that I have the hard tremors in church because I’m cold! I’ll be making an appointment with the Neurologist next week, now that I’ve been on the new meds for awhile and the apnea and tummy are well under control.

Our older daughter and her hubby are going to do the honors for Thanksgiving Dinner this year. They both love to cook, which I never did, and this is their first holiday in their new home. I’ve always been the one to have the Thanksgiving meal, but I’m very happy to pass this tradition along to her, and just help out with the expense. Hopefully our younger daughter and her family will be able to come, too. With me not having to do anything for dinner, I can really enjoy the day.

So, things continue to come to good conclusions, and I remain optimistic. May we all have a great day today!!

7+ Hours Sleep Again!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 8

I was able to stay in the recliner for over 7 hours last night! I’m still getting up several times to go the bathroom, but at least now I’m able to get back to sleep. I figure I’ll try turning the screw to advance my lower jaw maybe one or two more nights, and that should be enough. I’m making the Sleep Study appointment today to see if it’s controlling the Sleep Apnea properly. If it’s not, I can always advance it some more while they monitor it, until I find the right spot.

I will get an appointment for the flu shot today, too.

I’m also going to make an appointment with a Dermatologist today. I don’t want to ignore the fact that Parkies have a higher rate of Melanoma than the general population. Particularly since I’ve inherited a tendency to have lots of moles, some quite large, from both of my parents.

I’ve never been to a Dermatologist before, but I’ve learned my lesson and intend to get one who uses the hospital I like. There is a lady Dermatologist associated with my preferred hospital, and I think I would be more comfortable having every square inch of me examined by her, rather than by a man.

My inability to control my emotions is still a very aggravating problem. I started looking for some important insurance paper work this morning, and couldn’t find it. I’ve kept up with that stack of papers for several years now, but when I started to make a phone call referring to it, it was nowhere to be found. After searching everywhere I might have filed it, then looking in places I should not have filed it, I fell apart. Blubbering like a baby and getting DH all upset trying to console me. This awareness of my mental abilities deteriorating right before my eyes is extremely disconcerting.

I finally did find the insurance papers I needed, stuffed in the file folder with the information about Pop’s monument that I had worked on the same day I had been working on the insurance. This is some paperwork left over from when DH’s Pop died, as we were the executor of his estate, too. Not long after he died my dear hubby had colon cancer surgery, so some of the less urgent parts of settling Pop’s estate just got pushed to the background. Now I’m trying to finish all of it up, and get my Daddy’s all finished, too.

So, all in all, it’s been a productive day, as I was able to get done what needed to be done toward cashing the insurance policy, and I’m going to call and make the appointments just as soon as the doctors’ offices get back from lunch.

Once this insurance policy is dealt with, the only things left to take care of are the monuments. Pop’s should have already been engraved, so when I talked to the cemetery people, they were extremely apologetic that it had not already been done. And I haven’t even started on getting Daddy’s information added to the headstone.

I’ll be glad to have all this paperwork finished! Daddy’s estate will get out of probate at the end of November, and I need to be through with everything by then, so I can quit stressing over it.

Impressions are Made

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 6

I went on a feverish research marathon on the internet night before last, and printed out a bunch of pages of different dental appliances for sleep apnea. I also found several pages explaining exactly how to talk to my Blue Cross insurance people in order to have a fighting chance of getting this thing covered by my medical insurance. This sort of appliance does not fall under dental, as it really has nothing at all to do with the teeth. I printed a list of possible side effects, too, just in case I had any problems. Troubles are always easier to cope with for me, if I know I’m not the only one having them.

So, armed with all my paperwork, I went to my own dentist yesterday and had a long talk with him. I really like him, and have been going to him for many years. In fact, he has crowned almost every tooth in my head! LOL That’s just as well, too, as this appliance would not work if my teeth were not strong and in good condition. But, I digress. I was pleased with what he told me about how he did this process, but even more pleased when he brought my very own hygienist in to talk to me. It seems that she uses the very appliance that he was recommending! She explained that she could move her mouth around with it on, and that was something I was particularly concerned about.

She also told me about the exercises you have to do each morning when you take it out. If you don’t do that, you will pull your bite all out of alignment, not to mention have a lot of jaw pain. That’s not a problem, as I have to “exercise” my face muscles every day anyway, as part of my Parkinson’s exercises. These are designed to forestall the mask look of PWP. We lose the ability to use the fine muscles that control facial expression, and these exercises are supposed to prevent that. I don’t know if they will, but I intend to try, anyway. So, adding in some jaw and mouth exercises will be easy enough.

So, I did it. I had the impressions made and paid out 1,000 big bucks right there on the spot. That’s not cheap, by any means, and it certainly means I’d better be right about this one!! If you thought I was stubborn about trying to get used to the CPAP, just wait and see how stubborn I can be with that much of my own money invested in it! LOL I really feel like this is something I need to solve the insomnia and resultant brain fog I deal with every day now.

Of course, I will do everything I can to get reimbursed by my insurance company, but I had already decided I would do it, covered or not. I did call the insurance company yesterday to find out what forms I needed to get this approved, and then my Sleep Disorder doctor’s office to ask them to get Dr. A to fill them out. So I’ve started the ball rolling, anyway. I made sure I got the medical code for this appliance from the dentist’s office, too, so I could use that in my argument for coverage, if needed. I would not have known to do any of this if it hadn’t been for a dentist somewhere in California, of all places, who had a whole page explaining exactly what to do to get this appliance covered. Ain’t the internet great?

While I’m waiting the three weeks it will take to get this in, I’ll work to get the skin around my mouth back in good shape. Those masks have really done a number on my Acne Rosacea, with dry irritated patches all along my mouth on both sides down to my chin and across. My skin usually takes awhile to heal, once I get this irritated. I quit wearing makeup years ago, because everything broke me out, and I have to be very careful about any soaps or medicines I use on my face. That alone made me a poor candidate for cpap. Adding in the degenerated disks, which required that I be able to move around in my sleep, and I hope I can make a good case that using this “custom fabricated device” is a “medical necessity,” as the insurance company requires. Both of those conditions are documented in my medical records, so I think they have a fight on their hands if they try to deny this claim. I’m loaded for bear, and ready to take them on, but, hopefully, they will agree and I won’t need to fight them. I really don’t need that extra stress. But, what will be, will be.

Getting rid of the cpap frustration and looking forward to getting the dental appliance has improved my mood considerably, so I remain positive that everything will work out for the best. I do covet your prayers and good thoughts that I will find adjusting to the mouth piece to be an easy transition.

The device I’m getting is called a TAP, which stands for Thornton Adjustable Positioner, and you can read all about it here and here, if you’re interested.

CPAP Goes Bye Bye

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 7

We turned the Cpap machine back in to the Durable Equipment Company yesterday. I struggled for 6 weeks, trying to adjust to different masks, but I never could find anything that worked properly on my face, with my Acne Rosacea skin problems, and giving me the ability to sleep on my side comfortably.

So, I saw the Sleep Disorder doctor yesterday, and he agreed that I was just not a good candidate for the Cpap option for controlling my mild Apnea. He agreed that I probably needed to control the apnea I have, even though it’s mild, because I still have insomnia, and it’s affecting my thinking skills and leaving me exhausted every day. If it weren’t for the Parkinson’s, I don’t think he would have ever put me on a machine to begin with, as I have an apnea score of 10. That’s probably as low as it goes, from what I understand. That means 10 episodes of apnea an hour. But if I were to get a full night’s sleep, that means as many as 80 times a night I would momentarily stop breathing. My brain can’t afford that amount of disruption, as part of it is already working on 20% efficiency – the part that makes dopamine.

So, we’ve moved on to another possibility, and that’s to get an oral dental appliance. I’ve been doing the research online, and this looks like a good alternative for me. I won’t have deal with skin irritation, as there is no headgear, and since it doesn’t depend on any kind of forced air, there won’t be any leaks. It still means getting used to something foreign, in this case a mouthpiece specially molded to my teeth by the dentist. This contraption is designed to pull my bottom jaw forward as I sleep, much like the way a medic does when they give CPR. That opens the airway, and should prevent the apnea. The tension on the jaw is done gradually, so the body has time to adjust, at least that’s the way it’s supposed to work.

I have an appointment today with my own dentist, to see if he could do the work or not. His office said he could, but I’m not so sure about that. This sounds awfully specialized to me. But I trust him to tell me if he can or can’t do it. If he can’t, the Sleep Disorder doctor will send me to an oral surgeon to get one. I will need to have another sleep study after I’ve been on the appliance long enough to pull my jaw forward, but that’s no big deal.

The other area of concern is that this is probably not going to be covered by my insurance, the way the cpap was. I will be talking to them today, to see if that can be worked out. I did find a very detailed explanation of what needed to be done to get an insurance company to accept the procedure as insurable. I’ll be using what I learned there to help me fight for coverage, if necessary.

I am very thankful that we are financially able to consider something like this, insured or not. I read what had to be done to get Medicare to pay for an oral dental appliance, and it involved paying for before and after sleep studies, plus paying for the mouthpiece itself, and then trying to get Medicare to reimburse. That’s an awfully expensive proposition. At least my insurance will pay for the Sleep Studies, if nothing else.

The biggest drawback, at this point in time, is that there is no guarantee that I can adjust to the feel of this thing in my mouth, any better than I did the cpap mask on my face. And this can’t be turned back in for a refund, the way the cpap machine could. We did get stuck with the mask part, though. We’re stuck with the expense of the dental appliance, like it or not. It’s not like you could turn THAT back in for a refund! LOL

DH and I feel like it’s a reasonable use of our money, though, so that’s not going to stop me from trying this procedure. I’m not a quitter, and I intend to keep trying, until we find some way to improve the quality of my life.

Get Help Paying for Prescriptions IF YOU DON’T HAVE INSURANCE!!

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by  

One of my new Parkie friends that I have met on the PatientsLikeMe site is knoxgal. She posted an extensive set of links for places to go to get help paying for Parkinson’s meds, for those who do not have insurance. Some of these sites are for other than just PD meds, too. I asked permission to copy her post for any of you who either need this information yourself, or know someone who could make good use of it.

Bridge to Access:

Azilect:

GlaxoSmithKline

Needy Meds:

Partnership for Patience Assistance

Johnson & Johnson:

This is what knoxgal has to say:

Every site is different as to what meds they will cover. Most require the same thing and I am offering this info through trial and error. To get started you will need to contact them to get an application. Fill out the application and note the requirements needed. Number 1 — prescription. Number two–verification of income. Number three– a copy of W2 for the last year. Later, they have requested the last page of my filing with the IRS, showing your income and the amount of your refund etc.

Please note every site requires something different, such as your income, employment status etc. Once you have all of your forms filled out, and documents together, you need to get these to your doctor for him to sign them and he will get them into the provider for you.

I have found that they are really good about automatically sending you refills. You don’t even have to request them. You usually qualify for free meds or discounted meds for a year. After a year is up, you do need to reapply.

I hope this is helpful.

I should think there would be a lot of folks who would find this information helpful, and I want to thank knoxgal for allowing me to copy her post.

PS Just to give you an idea of what a neat site PatientsLikeMe is, here’s the public part of my information on the site, plus you can see what other patients have made public, as well. Right now, they are set up for patients with ALS and MS, as well.

First Night at Home with a C-PAP

Day by Day with a Movement Disorder Posted on by 2

My DH got in the expected jibes about how beautiful I looked in my CPAP getup, and warned me not to try to give him a kiss during the night. It does look pretty intimidating and terribly ugly. Our DD who used one for awhile called it Octopus Face.

My face was still sore from the pressure of the mask they had used at the Sleep Study, and nothing I did by way of adjustments made it comfortable. I was very tired, so I did manage to get to sleep with the harness on, but I woke up, as usual, a couple of hours later, wide awake. This is my normal insomnia pattern. Try as I might, I just couldn’t stand the thing. I yanked it off several times, crying again out of sheer frustration. I can’t even count how many times I pulled it off and put it back on. I even took a Lunesta, thinking surely it would help me get to sleep with it on. No such luck, as I lay there fighting the stupid thing, wide awake. I finally gave up and turned it off.

It didn’t take me long then to get back to sleep, but I did wake up at 2:00AM, which is also normal for me when I’m in insomnia mode. I could tell the sleeping pill had me pretty relaxed, so, I thought I’d try it again. This time it worked, or at least it partly worked. I did cheat and leave the chin strap off, so maybe I just breathed through my mouth the rest of the night. I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I slept until 7:00AM, and I can’t remember the last time I slept that late – years probably. And I did sleep all that time with the mask on, properly strapped into position, with the air blasting away.

This equipment wasn’t cheap, even with very good insurance, so I don’t want to waste the money. More importantly, I want to be able to sleep through a night peacefully, something I can barely remember doing.

The problems of getting used to a CPAP machine are twofold in my view of it. One thing is that the stuff on your face is uncomfortable, no matter how soft they pad it. It has to be tight enough to prevent the air from leaking out around it. If it’s not tight enough, you end up with a stream of air blasting your eyes!! Not exactly conducive to sleep, eh?

The other problem is that the air is being forced into your lungs under pressure. Well, that’s the good part, because that’s what stops the Apnea. The bad part comes when you try to breathe OUT. You have to breathe out AGAINST the pressure that is pushing the air IN! It’s a suffocating feeling that I am struggling to handle at all.

The manufacturer of my machine, and I suspect all the other brands, too, realizes this is a problem, and has what they call a RAMP UP button. The idea is to start the machine with less pressure, which gradually builds up to the pressure prescribed by the doctor. You’re supposed to be asleep by the time it gets powerful. That’s why I was able to get to sleep at first, while I was so tired. I was off in la la land before the pressure increased to full amount. But after I had slept a couple of hours and woke up, I didn’t have that luxury, as I was still awake while it was ramping up big time. I pushed the RAMP UP button several times in a row, to no avail.

Will I be able to get used to this contraption? I’d love to say that I will do whatever it takes to adjust, but I’d be lying if I did. I certainly intend to try, and keep trying, but it’s such an unpleasant feeling that I’d be a fool to make promises to myself on this one. It took some fervent prayers to get me to sleep that first night at the Sleep Study, and I think I’m going to be doing a LOT of praying to help me adjust to all this. That’s all I can do – Try my very best and ask for God’s help to get used to this thing.