I’m tired. I’ve reached the point that I’m too tired to sleep, even when I could. I have the Ambien CR, but the Neurologist doesn’t want me taking it all the time.
Besides, I might not hear Daddy if I’m doped up. He’s becoming very unpredictable as to his sleeping patterns. There have been some nights lately where he hallucinated much of the night, even clawing to take off his Depends and trying to climb over the bed rails. Other nights, he talks in his sleep. I’ve had several lengthy conversations with him in the middle of the night, where he never opens his eyes, and I can tell he’s still asleep LOL! Other nights, he barely twitches a muscle, but stays in exactly the same place all night long. That’s not good for his skin.
The lift has helped with the lack of strength problem tremendously (Daddy’s and mine, too), and Daddy is accepting it without argument, thank goodness. He’s also letting us feed him, which surprised me. I thought he’d balk, but I think he’s beyond that. He still takes spells of hateful talk, but it doesn’t happen too often any more. Frances heard it for the first time yesterday. It really surprised her. We told her that meant she was part of the family now. 😉
We’ve reached that point in care giving where we pretty much control everything to do with Daddy now. We’ve bought sweat pants and put his regular zipper pants away. I’ve put up his watch, wallet, and keys, which he’d always put on first thing each morning. He’s no longer wearing athletic undershirts or his favorite flannel shirts. We’ve bought him some knit Henley long sleeve shirts instead, so we could get them on and off easier that the unstretching flannels. He’s in white diabetic ankle socks, instead of his dress socks, and I can’t remember the last time he had on both shoes. In fact now we’re not even bothering with the slipper socks, as he’s not standing or walking. The sores on his bottom and his heel look much better, because we have more control over his skin now that he’s not walking and in his own bed. It’s no wonder he keeps asking to go home! He certainly doesn’t recognize the life he’s living now. But he’s safe (well, except for his rail climbing times), and he’s as comfortable as we can get him.
The Zelepar seems to be sufficient for my physical Parkinson’s symptoms, but I’m not sure any medicine could improve the mental deterioration I see, considering all we’re doing right now. Thank goodness for backspace and spell check!!
At the rate I’m going it won’t be long before it’s just too difficult to try to correct all my typing mistakes. I’ll just join Joe, and let you see what it’s really like for me HA!!
So, I’ve cut out what I could in the way of other responsibilities. I haven’t put a new item on eBay in some time, and I’ve put up a notice that we are not able to ship promptly right now. I’ve sent an email to all the BLOG VILLAGE members, asking them to help me with the monthly check on all the voting links and dead blogs. I’ve even cut down on my own reading and commenting, not because I want to, but because I’m just overwhelmed right now.
As you can see, I’m not very cheery today. I’ll feel better once I get some sleep, though – whenever that will be.